A Giggles Thread: Jokes, Cartoons, Parody, Satire, Sarcasm & Irony

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By Nobody
20 May 2017 10:16 pm in The Water Cooler Chat Room
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Nobody
11 Sep 2017 3:08 pm
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Sgt Bilko » 11 Sep 2017 4:48 am » wrote:Misty always lives in ignorance. Currently there are 3 hurricanes in the gulf.
Maybe you should know what I actually posted before you go shooting off your mouth.
Misty » 07 Sep 2017 4:08 pm » wrote:Ever heard of two storms of this magnitude in the same season?
We have never had two hurricanes in the same season that were Cat 4 or stronger when they made landfall in the U.S..
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Nobody
11 Sep 2017 3:15 pm
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OMG! This is so stressful! But cute!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSveukxdWIo
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crimsongulf
11 Sep 2017 3:15 pm
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Misty » 11 Sep 2017 3:02 pm » wrote: I wish people would read the whole post before they give a knee jerk response.

Once again and for the last time, I was talking about two storms in the same season that hit the U.S. and were Cat 4 or 5 when they made landfall.

What people can not seem to understand is that the Safir-Simpson is not the end all. Irma was almost an immediate cat 3 on arrival while Katrina actually arrived as a cat 3. Irma ain't no Katrina and never was.

Making the cat 4 claim in the same year is very misleading as Harvey and Irma caused nowhere near the destruction of Katrina and rita. Harvey was not really that strong of a hurricane but the stalling and rainfall was. the surge of Irma was about half of katrina.

Uhhh, yeah it has happened before.

The media overhyped IRMA to no end. It was very telling if you were listening to news media while looking at NOAA data.

All in all Harvey and Irma were weather events and nothing to do with so called "climate change".
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Nobody
11 Sep 2017 3:25 pm
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crimsongulf » 11 Sep 2017 3:15 pm » wrote:What people can not seem to understand is that the Safir-Simpson is not the end all. Irma was almost an immediate cat 3 on arrival while Katrina actually arrived as a cat 3. Irma ain't no Katrina and never was.
Making the cat 4 claim in the same year is very misleading as Harvey and Irma caused nowhere near the destruction of Katrina and rita. Harvey was not really that strong of a hurricane but the stalling and rainfall was. the surge of Irma was about half of katrina.
Uhhh, yeah it has happened before.
The media overhyped IRMA to no end. It was very telling if you were listening to news media while looking at NOAA data.
All in all Harvey and Irma were weather events and nothing to do with so called "climate change".
All that aside what I stated was a simple fact.
We have never had two hurricanes make landfall in the U.S. as Cat 4's or stronger in the same season.
I don't know why everyone is arguing with that.
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Sgt Bilko
11 Sep 2017 4:51 pm
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indago » 11 Sep 2017 2:41 pm » wrote: You just HAD to throw in the ad hominem Alinskyism, your forte...
THE BRAIN DEAD **** POSTS IDIOCY AGAIN!!!

THAT IS ALL HE CAN DO!!!
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Nobody
11 Sep 2017 6:54 pm
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Sgt Bilko » 11 Sep 2017 4:51 pm » wrote: THE BRAIN DEAD **** POSTS IDIOCY AGAIN!!!
THAT IS ALL HE CAN DO!!!
You mean idiocy like this?
Sgt Bilko » 11 Sep 2017 4:48 am » wrote:Misty always lives in ignorance. Currently there are 3 hurricanes in the gulf.
1. You seriously think I don't know that?
And
2. That had nothing to do with what I was talking about.

I was talking about the FACT that until Harvey and Irma, there have never been two hurricanes in the same season that made landfall in the United States at a Category 4 or stronger.

A FACT that for some reason a bunch of you want to dispute.
Hurricanes Irma and Harvey Mark the First Time Two Atlantic Category 4 U.S. Landfalls Have Occurred in the Same Year

https://weather.com/storms/hurricane/ne ... es-history
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roadkill
11 Sep 2017 6:56 pm
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Misty » 11 Sep 2017 6:54 pm » wrote: You mean idiocy like this?

1. You seriously think I don't know that?
And
2. That had nothing to do with what I was talking about.

I was talking about the FACT that until Harvey and Irma, there have never been two hurricanes in the same season that made landfall in the United States at a Category 4 or stronger.

A FACT that for some reason a bunch of you want to dispute.

I heard the whole audio and what Rush said and what your source said about Irma.


Looks like you've been punked again.
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Nobody
11 Sep 2017 7:11 pm
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roadkill » 11 Sep 2017 6:56 pm » wrote:I heard the whole audio and what Rush said and what your source said about Irma.
Looks like you've been punked again.
I heard it too.
He said the media was creating fear and panic to advance their climate change agenda.
"So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it. You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere. All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.
And he also said that there is no need to buy so much bottled water.
"For those of you, by the way, in panic, there’s this thing in your kitchen called a sink, and at the sink there’s this thing called a faucet."
Tell that to the people who don't have running water right now.

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http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/i-did-n ... claim/amp/

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Nobody
11 Sep 2017 7:22 pm
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EEEW!

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roadkill
11 Sep 2017 7:32 pm
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Misty » 11 Sep 2017 7:11 pm » wrote: I heard it too.
He said the media was creating fear and panic to advance their climate change agenda.

And he also said that there is no need to buy so much bottled water.

Tell that to the people who don't have running water right now.

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http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/i-did-n ... claim/amp/

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And you fell for all of it by your source.
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Nobody
11 Sep 2017 7:46 pm
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WONKETTE ALERT!
Alex Jones Knows ‘Deep State’ Roofies Trump’s Diet Cokes, But SHHHH THEY’LL MURDER HIM IF YOU TELL

WELL, WELL, WELL. Alex Jones, investigator and figure-outer of all the secret truths that exist, has done it again.

He has “spoken” to his “sources” and they have told him that every single night, the Deep State sneaks into the Oval Office (yes, the entire Deep State, single file) and puts a roofie in Donald Trump’s Diet Coke and one in his iced tea and one in his burnt steak and one in each scoop of his ice cream.

Hell, General John Kelly probably hollers, “Who’s a good boy! Who’s a good boy!” from his office, which makes Trump gallop on all fours toward the voice of the nice chief of staff who says he’s a good boy, at which point he sits and shakes and rolls over and plays dead, earning his reward of as many spoonfuls of peanut butter as he wants, all of which are FULL OF DRUGS.

This is a thing that happens. ALEX JONES KNOWS.
THE HIGHEST.
THEY DID IT.

Who is “they”?

THE **** DEEP STATE, DO YOU NOT SEE THEM HIDING BEHIND THE CURTAINS?

They are very sneaky.
Oh it’s not just “most of them,” it’s ALL OF THEM KATIE.

George W. Bush choking on that pretzel?

BECAUSE IT WAS LACED WITH THE KIND OF DRUGS YOU’RE ‘POSED TO SAY NO TO.

Obama being all crazy boners for broccoli and arugula?

HE WASN’T PANDERING TO MICHELLE’S LADY GARDEN, IT WAS BECAUSE THEY WERE COVERED IN VERY ADDICTIVE DRUGS THAT ARE NOTHING LIKE ALEX JONES TRUCKER SPEED.
BUT ONCE HE FIGURES IT OUT, OH BOY.
We do remember that time Trump took phone **** all over the Australian prime minister because it was 5:00 PM ZZZZZZZZ PRESIDENTING MAKES HIM VERY SLEEPY.

But maybe it was the drugs!
Maybe he’s just senile. Or maybe that’s what THEY want us to think:
WHOA. THE ****. IF TRUE.

And now the dose is in everything Trump touches or tastes.

It’s upon Steve Bannon’s bosoms (allegedly!), it’s on the tip of the Russian ambassador’s dick (allegedly!).

There is literally no place the Deep State won’t hide Trump’s mind-control drugs. (NOT ALLEGEDLY.)

Alex Jones knows sharing this information is dangerous:
He better don his invisibility robe and wizard hat, then!

Otherwise the Deep State will probably assassinate Jones a bunch of times, just like they’ve done to Roger Stone.

And you might think, well, how can the Deep State drug Trump and murder Roger Stone and Alex Jones all at the same time?

The answer is shapeshifting, and also something about gay frogs.

OPEN YOUR EYES, YOU IDIOTS.
Awwwww, that sucks. Doktor Zoom is sick today too. HOPE HE’S NOT GETTING DEEP STATED.
Well …
Let it go! Let it go! Iiiiiiiii don’t care what they’re going to say, let the storm rage onnnnnnnnnnnn!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
The cold never bothered Alex Jones anyway.
Well there’s always this guy:

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That’s the ticket.

But wait, what if Dr. Weirdass up there runs the tests and just finds usual stuff like Adderall, Imodium AD, Heartgard and whatever they use to treat syphilis acquired in the late 1970s?

THEN THAT MEANS THE DEEP STATE IS MAKING ITS DRUGS UNTRACEABLE, OBVIOUSLY, YOU SHEEPLE.

Oh well. Even if they ferret out whatever Trump is almost certainly being drugged with, the Deep State always has Plan B, i.e. that one weird chemtrail that comes out of Air Force One’s fanny and goes directly up the president’s nose.

Read more at https://wonkette.com/622780/alex-jones- ... s9ZyVvm.99
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Nobody
11 Sep 2017 7:50 pm
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roadkill » 11 Sep 2017 7:32 pm » wrote:And you fell for all of it by your source.
My 'source' was the big fat mouth of the drug addled gasbag Rush himself.
I have ears you know, and mine work.
Unlike him I didn't make myself deaf by swallowing vast amounts of Oxycontin.
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Annoyed Liberall
12 Sep 2017 9:43 am
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Hot Little Twist
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Researchers Identify Gene for AwfulnessImage
By Andy Borowitz
September 9, 2017
ImagePhotograph by Evan Vucci / AP
LEEDS (The Borowitz Report)—In a finding that has wide-ranging implications for society, British researchers at the University of Leeds announced on Saturday that they have identified the gene for awfulness.
The study, which focussed on one adult male and three of his adult children, makes a persuasive argument that there is a “powerful dominant gene” that makes people heinous.
“When we began our research, we wanted to find an adult male with pronounced characteristics of horribleness,” Alistair Dorrinson, the scientist who led the study, said. “In studying three of his adult offspring, we found that they were all carriers of the gene that makes one smug, tone-deaf, and oblivious to the fate of others.”
Additionally, certain subtraits of awfulness, such as an inability to tell the truth, appear to be genetically mediated, Dorrinson said.
“If the father is unable to explain honestly why a meeting took place, for example, the son who carries the same gene will also tell crazy lies about that meeting,” he said.
Hopes that the gene for horribleness might eventually become diluted as its carriers mate with the general population were dashed when the scientists studied the mating history of the adult daughter in the sample group.
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roadkill
12 Sep 2017 9:52 am
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[quote="Annoyed Liberall » 12 Sep 2017 9:43 am"][/quote]


What does the gene report say about people who post that picture with the article?
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Nobody
12 Sep 2017 3:33 pm
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The facts are as follows: On Monday evening, the account belonging to Cruz "liked" a video clip posted by @SexuallPosts, an account whose sole purpose is disseminating pornographic videos.

That clip, 2 minutes and 20 seconds in length, has a woman walking into what appears to be her house.

There, she discovers a couple having sexual intercourse.

She proceeds to watch them, to her own evident pleasure.

The Cruz account retracted the "like" as soon as it began to attract the attention of Twitter users.

By then, of course, it was too late.

http://crooksandliars.com/2017/09/twitt ... zs-twitter
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Nobody
12 Sep 2017 3:35 pm
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roadkill » 12 Sep 2017 9:52 am » wrote:What does the gene report say about people who post that picture with the article?
Oh, lighten up.
It's a joke.
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roadkill
12 Sep 2017 5:52 pm
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Misty » 12 Sep 2017 3:35 pm » wrote: Oh, lighten up.
It's a joke.
You noticed for once...except not until I offered my response. :)

We'll all be waiting for your Obama/Hillary jokes. :die:
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Nobody
12 Sep 2017 8:37 pm
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roadkill » 12 Sep 2017 5:52 pm » wrote:You noticed for once...except not until I offered my response. :)
We'll all be waiting for your Obama/Hillary jokes. :die:
Why don't you post some of those?
I won't move them.
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Nobody
12 Sep 2017 8:38 pm
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Obviously a Trump supporter.

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A 26-year-old Tennessee woman has been arrested after she shot a homeless man who asked her to move her Porsche, Nashville metro detectives allege.

The Tennessean reports that 54-year-old homeless man Gerald Melton was critically injured this week when he was shot twice by Katie Quackenbush, who was driving a Porsche SUV near the area where he was trying to sleep.

Police say Melton asked Quackenbush to move the SUV because its exhaust fumes and loud music were impairing his ability to sleep.

The two then got into a loud argument with each other, and then Quackenbush allegedly exited the vehicle holding a gun that she then used to shoot Melton twice, leaving him with a wounded abdomen.

Police say Quackenbush then got back into her car and fled the scene.

Quackenbush’s father, Texas attorney Jesse Quackenbush, defended his daughter after her arrest by claiming that the homeless man was threatening to kill her shortly before she decided to get out of the car and fire her weapon at him.

“She didn’t try and kill this guy,” he said. “She had no intention of killing him. She didn’t know that she hit him…

She did say she closed her eyes when she shot both times, but they were warnings, and she thought she pointed away from him.”

http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/nashvil ... olice/amp/
So this is good.
She felt that the man was threatening to kill her so instead of driving away, she got out of her car.

Then she 'closed her eyes' before firing two 'warning shots' thinking she was shooting away from his direction, and got back into her car and drove off never bothering to check and see if she hit him or anybody else who might have been walking by while she was shooting her blind warning shots.

This is the story that her lawyer father came up with?
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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