A Giggles Thread: Jokes, Cartoons, Parody, Satire, Sarcasm & Irony

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By Nobody
20 May 2017 10:16 pm in The Water Cooler Chat Room
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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 2:36 pm
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This one thinks she's a squirrel.
Every time she goes out, she hides an acorn in her mouth and sneaks it into the house.

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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 3:31 pm
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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 3:56 pm
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Texas GOP Once Again Free To **** Houston In ***, Now That TV Cameras Are Gone

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In every single state that Republicans run, they are contemptuous of their blue Democratic cities.

The GOP always hollers “local gubmint!” and “states’ rights!” but when one of its blue cities tries to, you know, govern itself, the state slams on the brakes and does everything it can to exert its unwelcome will, even though those blue cities literally keep those states in business.

GOP-controlled Tennessee is always trying to **** Nashville and Memphis, notably these days in its efforts to keep Memphis from removing Confederate loser traitor monuments.

In North Carolina, we saw it last year as the state **** itself in the *** with its own head after Charlotte passed a trans-inclusive nondiscrimination ordinance.

And of course, everything is bigger in Texas, regarding how the GOP legislature and Texas Governor Greg Abbott treat blue cities like Dallas, San Antonio, Austin and Houston, cities without which the state would just be a wasteland of tumbleweeds, meth addiction and Bible camps.

What Abbott and his merry band of **** are doing to hurricane-ravaged Houston, now that the TV reporters in waders have left, will PISS YOU OFF.

As Christopher Hooks explains in the Texas Observer, Houston still needs a LOT of disaster funding.

Just its share of trash removal, after FEMA helps out with most of the cost, will run the city $25 million — and it ain’t got it, due to how its cash was wiped out like so many sticks of furniture and sheets of drywall currently piled up on the city’s streets.

So to alleviate that, Democratic Houston mayor Sylvester Turner proposed a temporary property tax increase, lasting one year.

BUT WHY THOUGH? WHY SHOULD HOUSTON VICTIMS HAVE TO PAY EXTRA TAXES?

Well, for one thing, they might not, because the Texas GOP, especially a Republican state senator from Houston by the name of Paul Bettencourt, is raising a mighty stink over the proposal, which under Turner’s latest proposal would cost the average Houston homeowner $48, according to the Texas Tribune.

We’ll see what the Houston City Council ultimately does when it votes in October.

BUT WHY WOULD MEAN DEMOCRATIC MAYOR TURNER WANT TO DO THIS TO THE RESIDENTS OF HOUSTON?

Oh, that’s an easy one! Because the state won’t give Houston the damn money it needs from its rainy day fund — until, at the earliest 2019.

We’ll turn it over to Hooks for a moment:

Of course, many Houstonians are probably so busy repairing their homes and repairing their lives that they might not be paying attention to all the GOP **** coming out of Austin.

Never fear, though, because state Sen. Bettencourt is ready and willing to offer quotes to make it look like Mayor Turner is the bad guy, instead of placing the blame where it belongs, which is on his face:

Oh go eat your own *** with mesquite BBQ sauce and a spork, Senator Bettencourt.

As for the governor? Well ****, his disposition sure has changed ever since he was giving hourly updates from his wheelchair, wiping tears from his eyes and vowing to rebuild:
No, you raving ****, Sylvester Turner’s point is that Houston DOES NOT HAVE the money it needs.

Therefore, Texas needs to be dipping into its rainy day fund — because Hurricane Harvey was a REALLY RAINY DAY YOU GUYS — and helping out its largest city, you know, the one that’s literally the lifeblood of the Texas economy.

Turner is being quite open about the fact that he doesn’t WANT to have to raise dumb property taxes on Houstonians, many of whom probably can’t afford it, especially if they didn’t have badass insurance before the storm:

In response, Abbott said the state will “most certainly” tap the fund, you know, at some point, when they get around to it, which is on a mighty different schedule from when devastated Houstonians actually need that funding, which according to Turner is “like, yesterday.”

Oh well. The GOP photo-op is over so **** you, Houston, you’re on your own, we guess.
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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 6:49 pm
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Sgt Bilko
28 Sep 2017 10:00 pm
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You are a real **** creating a bunch of posts and then locking the thread so no one can refute your idiocy!!!
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Sgt Bilko
28 Sep 2017 10:24 pm
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This and the other Trump hate posts are demonstrating your irrational hatred of Trump for no current reasonable issue. You are obsessed with Trump hatred causing you to have Trump Derangement Syndrome. Anyone who is this deep into hatred is really having mental health problems. You really need to see a therapist about your extreme hatred of anybody!! You are only hurting yourself with the obvious depth of your hatred.
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onlyaladd
28 Sep 2017 10:54 pm
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The president is either mentally ill or a really bad liar. Which is it?


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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 10:57 pm
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Sgt Bilko » 28 Sep 2017 10:00 pm » wrote:You are a real **** creating a bunch of posts and then locking the thread so no one can refute your idiocy!!!
I assume you mean my Flying Monkeys thread.
You can blame that on Huey.
He was spamming it.

I guess you didn't see this.
Huey » 28 Sep 2017 3:05 pm » wrote:Bump. Lmao!
When someone posts the same thing over and over like that, that's considered spamming.
And management has said that we have a right to protect our signature threads from spamming.
So take it up with Huey.

It's unlocked now.
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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 11:00 pm
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onlyaladd » 28 Sep 2017 10:54 pm » wrote:The president is either mentally ill or a really bad liar. Which is it?

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He also said, they would have had the votes they needed but for that one imaginary hospitalized senator.
:loco:
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onlyaladd
28 Sep 2017 11:02 pm
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Misty » 28 Sep 2017 11:00 pm » wrote: He also said, they would have had the votes they needed but for that one imaginary hospitalized senator.
:loco:
I mean. Wtf. He can't be that stupid?.......
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onlyaladd
28 Sep 2017 11:04 pm
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Registered to vote as a woman
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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 11:04 pm
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Sgt Bilko » 28 Sep 2017 10:24 pm » wrote: This and the other Trump hate posts are demonstrating your irrational hatred of Trump for no current reasonable issue. You are obsessed with Trump hatred causing you to have Trump Derangement Syndrome. Anyone who is this deep into hatred is really having mental health problems. You really need to see a therapist about your extreme hatred of anybody!! You are only hurting yourself with the obvious depth of your hatred.
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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 11:06 pm
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Nobody
28 Sep 2017 11:08 pm
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