Liberal Forum

Jason Chaffetz Wishes Congress Would Ask Chelsea Clinton Why She Did Benghazi



Former Rep. Jason Chaffetz’s career as a Talking Ugly Head on Fox News is starting with both a bang and a whimper!

Monday morning, he waked up and affixed his Mormon underpanties to his meat body, sculpted his face out of the weird shape it gets when he sleeps on it, and into the weird shape it has when he goes in public, and went to the Fox News studios for his CLOSE-UP.

His brilliant thought for the day, which he could not wait to share with “Fox & Friends,” is that it’s REAL ****’ DUMB how Congress is questioning Prince Jared Kushner this week, because shouldn’t we be asking Chelsea Clinton about that time she did Benghazi?

It’s possible Congress is investigating Jared Kushner because he worked on his pops-in-law’s campaign and now he works for the White House and there are all these questions about undisclosed meetings Kushner took with Russians that may or may not have been related to the Trump campaign doing conspiracies with Russia to win the election, WHEREAS Chelsea Clinton’s mother Hillary Clinton is not president, Chelsea Clinton didn’t have an official role in her mother’s campaign, and there is literally no evidence Hillary colluded with Russia (or Ukraine!) to steal the election FROM HERSELF and give it to Jolly Old Pussgrab McOrange.

But maybe Jason Chaffetz is right and Congress is refusing to investigate Chelsea for her obvious Benghazi-ing because DOUBLE STANDARD!

He actually said on Fox that “they would never do this to the Clintons.”

Is there something to Chaffetz’s argument?

Did Chelsea do Benghazi? Sure why not!

During the Benghazi hearings, GOP Rep. Martha Roby memorably asked Hillary if she was home alone THE WHOLE NIGHT of the Benghazi attacks, and Hillary and everybody else giggled because it sounded like Roby was wondering if Hillary was visited by any extramarital weenus or hoo hoo nookie that night.

Roby was not amused.

But the truth is we were also laughing because the secret all liberals know (AND ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT) is that Hillary was home alone that whole night (unless Huma came over for Benghazi ‘n’ Chill time), and that she was able to stay there by herself because Chelsea Clinton, former first daughter, was right at that very time using a jetpack to ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM into Libya and do Benghazi.

Like what do you think people who work at the Clinton Foundation do?

It’s right there in the employment agreement.

(“You may be called upon to Do Benghazi occasionally, and you will definitely have to Clinton Body Count at least one person per annum.
Do not worry, you will get time-and-a-half for these things, double-time on holidays.”)

So yeah, it’s true, and **** Jason Chaffetz right in his sideways face hole for blowing the whistle on it.
Oh well.

We didn’t think it was possible for Jason Chaffetz to get dumber, but we guess when you mix his bizarre face with Fox News, some sort of **** chemical reaction occurs and you get a level of MORE STUPIDER than the scientific community ever thought possible.

In that spirit, here are some more questions Jason Chaffetz should ask on Fox, to impress his new bosses so they keep paying him eleventy Ameros per week:

Shouldn’t we ask HILLARY CLINTON if SHE went to the Moscow Miss Universe Pageant with HUMA ABEDIN and while there did THEY have any Russian pee hookers do a Russian pee hooker show for THEM?

Shouldn’t we ask DEAD TED KENNEDY if HE colluded with Russia in CHAPPAQUIDDICK to steal the election for HILLARY?

Shouldn’t we ask BARACK AND MICHELLE OBAMA if THEY ever bragged to BILLY BUSH about all the pussies THEY GRABBED?

Shouldn’t we ask NANCY PELOSI if she got an AIRBNB for THREE MILLION ILLEGAL ‘SPANIC MESSICANS so they could VOTER FRAUD to make HILLARY CLINTON win the POPULAR VOTE?

Shouldn’t we ask CHARLOTTE AND AIDAN MEZVINSKY if THEY took any secret Russian conspiracy meetings in June of 2016 in order to steal the election for GRANDMA HILLARY?

Oh pfffffffft, the liberal media will probably say, “Charlotte was two and Aidan was being birthed at the time,” but they would say that because they are BIASSSSSSS.

These are just very good (and important) questions Jason Chaffetz should ask on “Fox & Friends,” and if he takes Wonkette’s advice, he is sure to have job security at Fox for approximately one million years.

Misty.....that's some funny ****!

This is too funny.
The Mooch did his homework ~ Anthony Scaramucci ~ Donald Trump ~ The Daily Show

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j7F2N2JXtIU

Misty » 24 Jul 2017 3:45 pm » wrote:

Humor requires an element of truth.


Your narrative doesn't define truth.

Misty » 24 Jul 2017 3:45 pm » wrote:

Don't recall trump promoting himself as christian in his policies.

Yet another loinfo tweet from the twitter twit brigade.

Misty » 24 Jul 2017 3:45 pm » wrote:Blessed are the poor

Wrong!

Gosh, when did Trump say or imply that, liar?

In fact, he showed a lot more sympathy toward the struggling and the working poor than your corrupt party did.


That's why he won Pa, Mich and Wisconsin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JUPwJteCHA

I could watch this guy all day long.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2LACM55JFA

My 7 year old grandson loves these guys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCLLxyQsWzk

Brooklyn Dad gets it.
I refuse to stop laughing.

Misty » 25 Jul 2017 4:26 pm » wrote:Brooklyn Dad gets it.

Trump the puppet

Who cares, moonbat?


"Brooklyn Dim."

Tiny Trump Meme

Termin8tor » 25 Jul 2017 9:57 am » wrote: Gosh, when did Trump say or imply that, liar?

In fact, he showed a lot more sympathy toward the struggling and the working poor than your corrupt party did.

That's why he won Pa, Mich and Wisconsin.

When did sympathy ever pay the bills, clem?

Trump - all prattle, no cattle.

roadkill » 25 Jul 2017 5:59 am » wrote:
Humor requires an element of truth.

Your narrative doesn't define truth.

"Humor requires an element of truth."

No it doesn't...

greatnpowerfuloz » 26 Jul 2017 2:01 am » wrote: When did sympathy ever pay the bills, clem?

Almost all his policies will create jobs as they stimulate business activity, Dim.

Meaning in time wages will rise, after 9 or so years of most Americans taking a 10% collapse in income. Incomes for most Americans barely rose at all under eight years of Obama.

Business confidence has risen to or near the highest level in many years, likely a decade or so.

Trump - all prattle, no cattle.

Can anyone spell irony? That's what you are.

Misty » 26 Jul 2017 12:40 am » wrote:Tiny Trump Meme

One again the psychopath reverses reality.

The mystery of Pickle.
Any 9 year old who writes like that is probably being home-schooled by an idiot.

The ‘kid’ who ‘wrote’ the ‘letter’ to Trump is lying about his age.



On Wednesday, the White House decided that the best way to distract the public’s outrage over the president’s supposed reinstating of the U.S. military ban on transgender people was with the sweet story of a POTUS-loving nine-year-old boy nicknamed “Pickle.”

Yes, instead of answering the very real questions on the president’s out-of-nowhere resolve to strip the transgender community of their civil liberties, perpetually miserable Sarah Huckabee Sanders used her time at the podium to read a letter from a totally real kid named “Dylan Harbin” who somehow convinced his very real “parents” to throw him a MAGA-themed birthday party, complete with MAGA hat-shaped cake.

Dylan had so many “questions” for the “president,” like “How much monny do you have?”



Funny that a kid who can’t spell for **** knows what a hyphen is or where to use it.

(Which probably rules Trump out as the missive’s true author.)

Or that a letter that was mailed to the president and took nearly two months to reach him is neither folded nor covered in coffee stains or self-tanner.

Or that the kid happens to share a name with Mike Pence’s beloved cat.

And where is the “pitcher” that Dylan enclosed?

Surely if there was a child on this planet who had any sort of affinity for the president, he’d pilot Air Force One himself to show up on the kid’s doorstep for a photo op.

Or at least threaten Pickle’s parents if they didn’t produce some party photos.

So where are the birthday pics? The public has a right to see them!

Fortunately, we’re not the only ones buying into the Great Pickle Mystery.

The conspiracy has gone global.

London-based political reporter Mikey Smith also did some digging, and can’t find a record of any Dylan Harbin being born anywhere in the United States between 2007 and 2009.

There is no record in the index of US newspaper birth announcements for a Dylan Harbin between 2007 and 2009.

— Mikey Smith (@mikeysmith) July 27, 2017

Is little Pickle lying about his age?

Was he born on foreign soil?

Is he actually a 53-year-old former investment manager from Long Island who uses too much hair product and looks like he reeks of Drakkar Noir?

Like Donald Trump’s tax returns, we may never know the truth.

Tillerson: Making Naptime Great Again



How can people who lie ALL THE TIME be so bad at it?

And why do they waste their energy lying about the stupidest ****?

Hey, NEWSFLASH! If you’re trying to quiet rumors that your boss might be quitting his job, don’t go on live television and get all cagey and defensive about him taking a few days off.

If Rex Tillerson’s staff just calendared him for a couple of personal days in July, no one would care.

Of course he wants to get out of town — DC is a miserable swamp in July!

Plus, it’s not like he does anything when he’s here anyway.

Yeah, the guy does seem to need a lot of naps.

But we’re all busy with the health care nightmare right now, so if the the Secretary needs to slip away for a little Texas siesta, Vaya con dios, Papi!

If you want to get cute, tell us he’s spending time with his beloved grandchildren.

We’ll still think he’s a soulless oil baron, but no one’s going to write a story about it.

Whatever you do, don’t freak out at reporters for daring to ask where he is!

(Watch video at link in title.)


Well, alright then!

That was State Department Spokeswoman Heather Nauert losing her mind on C-SPAN, which immediately tweeted the exchange.

Because that **** is funny!

Reporter: Can you say why we’re not being told where he is?

Nauert: Well, he does have the…He does have the ability to go away for a few days on his own.

Just takin’ a little time off.

He’s had a lot of work, he just came back from that, uh, mega-trip overseas.

As you all well know, many of you were there for the G20.

And his other travel as well.

So he’s entitled to take a few days himself.

Maybe if you all hadn’t spent years speculating that Hillary Clinton was an obese epileptic whose brain was being devoured by flesh-eating bacteria, you wouldn’t be stuck pretending that everyone in Trumpland possesses superhuman stamina.




But you could at least make an effort to come up with a decent cover story when your boss can’t keep up with Hillary’s 207,000 miles in her first year as Secretary of State.

Tell them he’s clearing brush like George W. Bush, or deerhunting — something manly.



Because when reporters ask, “Where’s Rex?” and you answer, “HE WORKS HARD, DAMMIT!” we start to wonder if Uncle Rex is going out for a pack of smokes and never coming back.

The man already had to skip out of meetings in Israel and South Korea to get some shut-eye.

Is he going to have to recuperate in Texas after every “mega-trip”?



Yeah, that’ll do the trick.

Tell the reporters a preposterous lie that Secretary Naptime is working 20 hours a day on his vacation.

Brilliant strategy, Heather!

And we all know Rex Tillerson has “the ability to go away for a few days on his own.”

It’s not like he’s a black guy playing golf.

Reporter: Of course. I don’t think anyone’s arguing against that.
But why not just say he’s on vacation then?

Nauert: I don’t know what is standard for Secretaries of State.
How they actually list private days.
Ummm, I can check to see what the prior arrangements were.

Why would anyone think Rex Tillerson is having a problem running the State Department?

Sure, he’s been in office for six months and still doesn’t know how to fill out his schedule.

But he couldn’t possibly have asked any of the 69,000 State Department employees about protocol — can’t trust any of those Deep State Obama holdovers!

How in the world do these vicious rumors of a Rexit get started?

Darn you, Reuters!

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson has told friends he will be lucky to last a year in his job, according to a friend, while two officials said national security adviser H.R. McMaster was frustrated by what he sees as disorganization and indiscipline on key policy issues inside the White House.

A source familiar with the situation told Reuters that Tillerson was “very upset at not having autonomy, independence and control over his own department and the ability to do the job the way the job … is traditionally done.”

Nauert may not have any friends at the State Department to help her with protocol issues.

But she does know where to go for career advice.

Tillerson’s spokestwit closed out the exchange by vowing to consult AP reporter Matt Lee if she has further questions.

So much winning!

Oh, Heather! You are never, ever getting that red scrunchie!


(Reference to the 1988 movie Heathers.)