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LAGNIAPPE: The Shower Cap Blog
LAGNIAPPE: The Shower Cap Blog
By B.See
5 Jan 2022 7:34 am in Liberals Only Political Chat Room
4 Feb 2023 6:04 am
Indeed, just in case you missed it...
Jantje_Smit » 28 Jan 2023, 4:36 am » wrote: ↑oh, BTW, I forgot to mention that no one gives a ****...
In memory of Pumpkins
5 Feb 2023 7:33 am
All Things Being Equal, I’d Rather Be the Jobs Guy - The Shower Cap Blog
EXCERPTS PART TWO
I see the Dotard is suing Bob Woodward, and I think America deserves to know precisely how much time he spent trying to sue Robert Redford before the lawyers talked him out of it.
Watching Off-Brand Orbán’s campaign apparatus lurch back to life has been…well, it’s the old, familiar nausea, isn’t it? I’d almost forgotten the doddering old creep’s limitless capacity for resentment, for hate, for endless, mewling victimhood…can’t you just leave us alone, you **** loser? Go home, loser, inflict yourself on your **** kids, nobody likes you.
…nobody except, granted, your whiny loser cult.
Congratulations on seven years and counting of falling for this sad, flaccid con, dorks. I know your precious media bubble is shielding you from the spectacle of your boy pleading the fifth over and over again like the cheap mobster he is,
but it’s right here waiting for you when you’re ready. Top shelf, next to the Covid vaccine.
Until then, enjoy your big, tuff “revenge tour,” watching grandpa ramble about his secret plan to end the war in the Ukraine by kissing Putin’s *** extra hard, in that secret spot only he knows about. He’ll play all the hits, (I hear he’s got an extended version of the toilet flushing bit that runs fifteen minutes, with a Stephen Miller drum solo) while working in new material here and there; it’ll be like watching a fascist prop comic at a state fair.
Because that gurgling undercurrent of violence will, obviously, be following Donald Trump back to the campaign trail; (and to Facebook and Twitter, thanks, billionaire tech bros!) he’s only gotten dumber and crazier in his Norma Desmond phase, he’s always spreading Q ****, and I bet somehow his pants fit even worse now, in incomprehensible, cubist ways.
Never fear, though, the Republican establishment is finally awake to the threat, and they are ON IT. They’ve developed a foolproof plan, to hope real hard that someone solves their problem for them....
Should this stratagem somehow fail, the fallback plan, as expressed by such paragons of moderatey moderateness as Larry Hogan and Chris Sununu, is to once again wholeheartedly support the fellow who spent the entire transition period attempting to overturn the election he lost, culminating in a terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol.
EXCERPTS PART TWO
I see the Dotard is suing Bob Woodward, and I think America deserves to know precisely how much time he spent trying to sue Robert Redford before the lawyers talked him out of it.
Watching Off-Brand Orbán’s campaign apparatus lurch back to life has been…well, it’s the old, familiar nausea, isn’t it? I’d almost forgotten the doddering old creep’s limitless capacity for resentment, for hate, for endless, mewling victimhood…can’t you just leave us alone, you **** loser? Go home, loser, inflict yourself on your **** kids, nobody likes you.
…nobody except, granted, your whiny loser cult.
Congratulations on seven years and counting of falling for this sad, flaccid con, dorks. I know your precious media bubble is shielding you from the spectacle of your boy pleading the fifth over and over again like the cheap mobster he is,
but it’s right here waiting for you when you’re ready. Top shelf, next to the Covid vaccine.
Until then, enjoy your big, tuff “revenge tour,” watching grandpa ramble about his secret plan to end the war in the Ukraine by kissing Putin’s *** extra hard, in that secret spot only he knows about. He’ll play all the hits, (I hear he’s got an extended version of the toilet flushing bit that runs fifteen minutes, with a Stephen Miller drum solo) while working in new material here and there; it’ll be like watching a fascist prop comic at a state fair.
Because that gurgling undercurrent of violence will, obviously, be following Donald Trump back to the campaign trail; (and to Facebook and Twitter, thanks, billionaire tech bros!) he’s only gotten dumber and crazier in his Norma Desmond phase, he’s always spreading Q ****, and I bet somehow his pants fit even worse now, in incomprehensible, cubist ways.
Never fear, though, the Republican establishment is finally awake to the threat, and they are ON IT. They’ve developed a foolproof plan, to hope real hard that someone solves their problem for them....
Should this stratagem somehow fail, the fallback plan, as expressed by such paragons of moderatey moderateness as Larry Hogan and Chris Sununu, is to once again wholeheartedly support the fellow who spent the entire transition period attempting to overturn the election he lost, culminating in a terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol.
5 Feb 2023 7:36 am
5 Feb 2023 7:48 am
ANYTHING you anti-AWAKE MAGA psychopaths call "****" is CERTAINLY worth a read.
And that's a GIVEN.
11 Feb 2023 7:06 am
Joe Biden > Howling Asshats, and Other Observations - Friday, February 10th, 2023 - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part one:
Intellectually, we knew going in that we were dealing with people of low character and no discernible competence, but watching the MAGA GOP actually run the U.S. House of Representatives blows my **** mind. My expectations were real low, you guys, but they have been annihilated. In a month.
(note: which means even the Cap expected better of them. I sure as hell DIDN'T)
Exactly how did you arrive at the belief that these hearings would work out well for you? “We’ll put Jim Jordan in charge of a great, big, televised, investigative committee, it’ll be all slick n’ sexy, like that show the January 6th committee put on!”
Your media bubble is a plastic bag wrapped around your head if it is telling you that Jim Jordan is leadership material.
Jim Jordan is a small, small man, representing a gerrymandered district, with a very slight talent for articulating the petty grievances of the subpar.
He is a loud, angry buffoon, and nothing more. We all have a few Jim Jordans in our lives, and we go out of our way to avoid them.
“Once voters see Lauren Boebert **** herself while shrieking about getting ‘shadow-banned’ on Twitter, they’re ours forever!” What? Why would you think that?
See, the problem with choosing to become the party of angry losers is the talent pool you’re left with.
I know it’s cozy in your Fox News safe space, where Greg Gutfeld is funny and it makes perfect moral sense to let the Jewish space laser lady decide who’s anti-Semitic, but perhaps it would be fruitful to consider the many angles from which sustained exposure to the screeching of furious weirdos might seem unappealing.
Quick reminder that the guiding premise of this entire **** inquisition is that temporary restrictions on a single social media platform, of a single newspaper article about Hunter Biden’s laptop, lasting all of one, single, solitary day, cost Donald Trump re-election.
Which is, of course, insane. But it’s gospel to these dolts.
“We called in some witnesses to debunk all the fake things we believe!” Oh. What a strange thing to do. “Yeah, and we invited this freshman Democrat, Dan Goldman, just to make sure there was somebody to dog-walk our fool asses up and down the room at regular intervals.”
Well, if you think that’s wise.
excerpts part one:
Intellectually, we knew going in that we were dealing with people of low character and no discernible competence, but watching the MAGA GOP actually run the U.S. House of Representatives blows my **** mind. My expectations were real low, you guys, but they have been annihilated. In a month.
(note: which means even the Cap expected better of them. I sure as hell DIDN'T)
Exactly how did you arrive at the belief that these hearings would work out well for you? “We’ll put Jim Jordan in charge of a great, big, televised, investigative committee, it’ll be all slick n’ sexy, like that show the January 6th committee put on!”
Your media bubble is a plastic bag wrapped around your head if it is telling you that Jim Jordan is leadership material.
Jim Jordan is a small, small man, representing a gerrymandered district, with a very slight talent for articulating the petty grievances of the subpar.
He is a loud, angry buffoon, and nothing more. We all have a few Jim Jordans in our lives, and we go out of our way to avoid them.
“Once voters see Lauren Boebert **** herself while shrieking about getting ‘shadow-banned’ on Twitter, they’re ours forever!” What? Why would you think that?
See, the problem with choosing to become the party of angry losers is the talent pool you’re left with.
I know it’s cozy in your Fox News safe space, where Greg Gutfeld is funny and it makes perfect moral sense to let the Jewish space laser lady decide who’s anti-Semitic, but perhaps it would be fruitful to consider the many angles from which sustained exposure to the screeching of furious weirdos might seem unappealing.
Quick reminder that the guiding premise of this entire **** inquisition is that temporary restrictions on a single social media platform, of a single newspaper article about Hunter Biden’s laptop, lasting all of one, single, solitary day, cost Donald Trump re-election.
Which is, of course, insane. But it’s gospel to these dolts.
“We called in some witnesses to debunk all the fake things we believe!” Oh. What a strange thing to do. “Yeah, and we invited this freshman Democrat, Dan Goldman, just to make sure there was somebody to dog-walk our fool asses up and down the room at regular intervals.”
Well, if you think that’s wise.
12 Feb 2023 11:45 pm
Joe Biden > Howling Asshats, and Other Observations - Friday, February 10th, 2023 - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two
Anyway, if I’m understanding things correctly, the self-evident truth that Donald Trump is a ****** *** bitch is now officially enshrined in the Constitution, or someplace almost as good, anyway. Heckuva job, Jimbo. Congrats, you’re a poor man’s Trey Gowdy, which is about six rungs above incel.
The State of the Union put me in mind of my all-time favorite evening spent watching politics: the 2012 vice presidential debate. There’s something about watching Joe Biden play with his food that works for me.
It was like a nature show, only better; you were absolved of any feelings of sympathy for the wildebeests, because you knew from previous episodes that the wildebeests were assholes. The look on Joe’s face, when he saw how easy it had been to bait these dopes into a Social Security fight, I’ve never seen that look in real life, only on the faces of 8-year-old boys in black and white movies, when they race downstairs on Xmas morning to discover a bicycle-shaped package next the tree.
Jowls trembling with theatrical fury, they bellowed, “How dare you, sir? How darrrrrrrrre you accuse the Republican Party of seeking cuts to entitlements?” and Joe’s grin grew wider, visions of news cycles to come dancing in his eyes like sugarplum fairies.
Because while yes, most of you understand the actual policy goals of your party’s donor class are too politically suicidal to speak aloud, some of you can’t help yourselves, and many of you are just idiots, so there’s no shortage of documentation here.
And if you don’t believe me, turn on the news, because it’s what we’re talking about now, thanks to your little ****.
I think they really believe that if they don’t show it on Fox, nobody can see it. Like, Mike Lee knows about that footage of him talking about phasing out social security, this isn’t the first time it’s made the rounds. He just got swept up in the hootin’ and hollerin’ (which has, um, happened before) and forgot about it, and how perfectly it would pair with his How Dare You face.
“Oh, that was taken out of context!” Okay, Mike. I bet that works. On people who take horse dewormer.
Rick Scott, bless his Medicare-defrauding heart, insisted on defending the honor of his stupid, stupid idea to sunset every single federal law every five years, which went about as well as you’d think, given Rick’s limited intellect and general ghoulishness. I wonder what Joe Biden’s gonna do with his other two wishes.
I’d like to take a quick moment to express my profound gratitude as a Democrat to the Republicans mentioned above, for their generous contributions to our cause.
Please understand how deeply we appreciate your commitment to reminding the public what colossal **** you all are. Incidentally, if anything happens to Rick Scott, Mitch McConnell clearly did it.
excerpts part two
Anyway, if I’m understanding things correctly, the self-evident truth that Donald Trump is a ****** *** bitch is now officially enshrined in the Constitution, or someplace almost as good, anyway. Heckuva job, Jimbo. Congrats, you’re a poor man’s Trey Gowdy, which is about six rungs above incel.
The State of the Union put me in mind of my all-time favorite evening spent watching politics: the 2012 vice presidential debate. There’s something about watching Joe Biden play with his food that works for me.
It was like a nature show, only better; you were absolved of any feelings of sympathy for the wildebeests, because you knew from previous episodes that the wildebeests were assholes. The look on Joe’s face, when he saw how easy it had been to bait these dopes into a Social Security fight, I’ve never seen that look in real life, only on the faces of 8-year-old boys in black and white movies, when they race downstairs on Xmas morning to discover a bicycle-shaped package next the tree.
Jowls trembling with theatrical fury, they bellowed, “How dare you, sir? How darrrrrrrrre you accuse the Republican Party of seeking cuts to entitlements?” and Joe’s grin grew wider, visions of news cycles to come dancing in his eyes like sugarplum fairies.
Because while yes, most of you understand the actual policy goals of your party’s donor class are too politically suicidal to speak aloud, some of you can’t help yourselves, and many of you are just idiots, so there’s no shortage of documentation here.
And if you don’t believe me, turn on the news, because it’s what we’re talking about now, thanks to your little ****.
I think they really believe that if they don’t show it on Fox, nobody can see it. Like, Mike Lee knows about that footage of him talking about phasing out social security, this isn’t the first time it’s made the rounds. He just got swept up in the hootin’ and hollerin’ (which has, um, happened before) and forgot about it, and how perfectly it would pair with his How Dare You face.
“Oh, that was taken out of context!” Okay, Mike. I bet that works. On people who take horse dewormer.
Rick Scott, bless his Medicare-defrauding heart, insisted on defending the honor of his stupid, stupid idea to sunset every single federal law every five years, which went about as well as you’d think, given Rick’s limited intellect and general ghoulishness. I wonder what Joe Biden’s gonna do with his other two wishes.
I’d like to take a quick moment to express my profound gratitude as a Democrat to the Republicans mentioned above, for their generous contributions to our cause.
Please understand how deeply we appreciate your commitment to reminding the public what colossal **** you all are. Incidentally, if anything happens to Rick Scott, Mitch McConnell clearly did it.
13 Feb 2023 10:00 pm
...still sifting through the hundred or so recent articles I saved up from last week (been too busy) so for now a third installment from the Shower Cap Blog.
Joe Biden > Howling Asshats, and Other Observations - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part three:
I suppose we can’t move on from the State of the Union without discussing all the cretinous yowling. Y’know, it says one thing about Kevin McCarthy’s leadership that he felt compelled to shush his feral caucus in front of the cameras, and another that they completely **** ignored him.
Yeah, much commentary this week on the evolving decorum standards of the party of the Capitol Riot. SOTU is like the Met Gala for people who like to yell crazy **** on television. Marj made sure to dress like white trash that married into conflict diamond money, to head off any of the other kooks looking to grab themselves a little corner of the spotlight.
And then our old pal Sarah Slanders dropped by to call us crazy, a particularly compelling message from a woman who’s famous mostly for lying. Yeah, we’re nuts. Anyway, MTG just took a dump in front of Adam Schiff’s office. Probably. It’s certainly only a matter of time.
You know, if Mitt Romney did nothing but offhandedly blast George Santos to atoms, I bet I could get to like him. Perhaps the occasional impeachment vote here and there, as necessary. I’m willing to keep an open mind.
The George Santos magnetic poetry set will be perfect. “Wrote fraudulent checks to Amish dog breeders.” That has a lovely cadence, really, and so perfectly captures the essence of this brazen little turd, who lied and stole and lied and stole until the Republican Party finally made him a Congressman.
Now, Donald Trump is a pathological liar, and only a fool would take anything he says at face value, but I’m pretty sure this thing about DeSantis being a pedophile is legit. I mean, why would a Republican lie about someone being a pedophile?
Let’s be honest and admit that not only did James O’Keefe always seem like exactly the sort of fellow who would take a sandwich from a pregnant lady, it’s the only reason he ever got anywhere in wingnut media.
Like, I’m all for an acrimonious split between O’Keefe and Project Veritas, but did you honestly expect a healthy working environment, in your viciously deceptive propaganda shop? Did you expect Secret Santa and team-building excursions to escape rooms?
The FBI thwarted a plot by a couple of neo-Nazi losers (but I repeat myself) to attack Maryland’s power grid,
which’ll give ‘em something to talk about in that neo-Nazi homeschooling network in Ohio, I suppose. For some reason, this paragraph feels like the appropriate spot to mention Paul Gosar’s contributions on Oversight, which I suspect has something to do with the rule of three.
Joe Biden > Howling Asshats, and Other Observations - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part three:
I suppose we can’t move on from the State of the Union without discussing all the cretinous yowling. Y’know, it says one thing about Kevin McCarthy’s leadership that he felt compelled to shush his feral caucus in front of the cameras, and another that they completely **** ignored him.
Yeah, much commentary this week on the evolving decorum standards of the party of the Capitol Riot. SOTU is like the Met Gala for people who like to yell crazy **** on television. Marj made sure to dress like white trash that married into conflict diamond money, to head off any of the other kooks looking to grab themselves a little corner of the spotlight.
And then our old pal Sarah Slanders dropped by to call us crazy, a particularly compelling message from a woman who’s famous mostly for lying. Yeah, we’re nuts. Anyway, MTG just took a dump in front of Adam Schiff’s office. Probably. It’s certainly only a matter of time.
You know, if Mitt Romney did nothing but offhandedly blast George Santos to atoms, I bet I could get to like him. Perhaps the occasional impeachment vote here and there, as necessary. I’m willing to keep an open mind.
The George Santos magnetic poetry set will be perfect. “Wrote fraudulent checks to Amish dog breeders.” That has a lovely cadence, really, and so perfectly captures the essence of this brazen little turd, who lied and stole and lied and stole until the Republican Party finally made him a Congressman.
Now, Donald Trump is a pathological liar, and only a fool would take anything he says at face value, but I’m pretty sure this thing about DeSantis being a pedophile is legit. I mean, why would a Republican lie about someone being a pedophile?
Let’s be honest and admit that not only did James O’Keefe always seem like exactly the sort of fellow who would take a sandwich from a pregnant lady, it’s the only reason he ever got anywhere in wingnut media.
Like, I’m all for an acrimonious split between O’Keefe and Project Veritas, but did you honestly expect a healthy working environment, in your viciously deceptive propaganda shop? Did you expect Secret Santa and team-building excursions to escape rooms?
The FBI thwarted a plot by a couple of neo-Nazi losers (but I repeat myself) to attack Maryland’s power grid,
which’ll give ‘em something to talk about in that neo-Nazi homeschooling network in Ohio, I suppose. For some reason, this paragraph feels like the appropriate spot to mention Paul Gosar’s contributions on Oversight, which I suspect has something to do with the rule of three.
25 Feb 2023 3:54 am
Who Would Get Custody of the Space Lasers?
EXCERPT:
So, Marjorie Taylor Greene wants a divorce. Wouldn’t it be lovely if it were that simple? To just herd all the weirdos into Florida, and let Bugs saw ‘em right off the continent? Sit on the beach, watch ‘em float away into the Atlantic, that endless, inescapable whining growing fainter and fainter…oh man, life would be one big Corona commercial.
I want to go to there. But I’m stuck here. With Marjorie Taylor Greene, Stuck in the United States of America during this golden age of mass killings linked to extremism, because the American Right refuses to entertain alternatives to the “radicalize idiots all day” turnout strategy that’s failed them in three consecutive elections.
You shriek and you moan, around the goddamn clock, about hydroxychloroquine and Jewish space lasers and furry kid litter boxes and Hillary Clinton eating baby faces and then when voters decide they don’t want to be governed by psychopaths, which is reasonable of them, you invent bigger lies, and drive yourselves crazier and crazier, until some of you snap and do terrorism, and maybe, just maybe, it’s time to try something else.
But no, modern Republican culture is about pushing on a door with a pull sign and calling it “fighting,” and learning from your mistakes is for sissies, so the plan is to crank the volume and menace the neighbors with firearms when they complain.
****, let MAGA nation secede, says me, on the condition that they take all their **** guns with them, and immediately build a giant **** wall around themselves. We’d agree to airdrop Twinkies and ammunition every six weeks until they wipe themselves out, which should take about two weeks.
Michigan Republicans, in their wisdom, elected deeply insane failed Secretary of State candidate Kristina Karamo as state chair, indicative of the party’s broader losers-who-won’t-go-away problem, which they have so richly earned.
Look, winners don’t ingest livestock medication, and I can’t be any clearer than that.
Because he’s way transparenter than that Pelosi broad, Kevin McCarthy released thousands of hours of secret security footage from the Capitol Riot to the media. Well, not the whole media, of course. This footage belongs to the public, not the lügenpresse! Kevin had conditions.
You had to be a serial conspiracy theorist, on everything from Covid to the Big Lie. You definitely had to’ve platformed the white nationalist “great replacement theory,” obviously. Kevin strongly preferred, but did not insist upon candidates who pimp Viktor Orbán and giggle like some sidekick-level cartoon halibut in a direct-to-video Disney sequel, but you couldn’t, under any circumstances, be an actual journalist of any kind.
Now, having thoroughly enjoyed Gym Jordan’s faceplant-heavy debut as Mr. Serious Investigator Man, I am sympathetic to the Speaker’s impulse to outsource propaganda operations to a more experienced hand, but common sense and common decency compel me to ask, what the **** is wrong with you, dude?
Hey Kevin, can somebody who’s not the mouth of American fascism get a peek at them vids? No? Just Tucker? Well, that’s certainly a choice.
It took extra shamelessness to pull that **** in the wake of the Dominion lawsuit revelations, but luckily, that’s the one area where McCarthy’s reserves are limitless. Exclusive access for the guy who knowingly fed his audience lies? Who tried to get a colleague fired for telling the truth?
Who, incidentally, gushed, “If you haven’t seen the tape of (Trump) ordering in McDonald’s, treat yourself?” Unrepentant hate-mongering aside, doesn’t America deserve to hear from someone slightly less pathetic?
“Treat yourself.” If my life were that embarrassing, I suppose I’d craft an elaborate alternate reality to hide in, too.
EXCERPT:
So, Marjorie Taylor Greene wants a divorce. Wouldn’t it be lovely if it were that simple? To just herd all the weirdos into Florida, and let Bugs saw ‘em right off the continent? Sit on the beach, watch ‘em float away into the Atlantic, that endless, inescapable whining growing fainter and fainter…oh man, life would be one big Corona commercial.
I want to go to there. But I’m stuck here. With Marjorie Taylor Greene, Stuck in the United States of America during this golden age of mass killings linked to extremism, because the American Right refuses to entertain alternatives to the “radicalize idiots all day” turnout strategy that’s failed them in three consecutive elections.
You shriek and you moan, around the goddamn clock, about hydroxychloroquine and Jewish space lasers and furry kid litter boxes and Hillary Clinton eating baby faces and then when voters decide they don’t want to be governed by psychopaths, which is reasonable of them, you invent bigger lies, and drive yourselves crazier and crazier, until some of you snap and do terrorism, and maybe, just maybe, it’s time to try something else.
But no, modern Republican culture is about pushing on a door with a pull sign and calling it “fighting,” and learning from your mistakes is for sissies, so the plan is to crank the volume and menace the neighbors with firearms when they complain.
****, let MAGA nation secede, says me, on the condition that they take all their **** guns with them, and immediately build a giant **** wall around themselves. We’d agree to airdrop Twinkies and ammunition every six weeks until they wipe themselves out, which should take about two weeks.
Michigan Republicans, in their wisdom, elected deeply insane failed Secretary of State candidate Kristina Karamo as state chair, indicative of the party’s broader losers-who-won’t-go-away problem, which they have so richly earned.
Look, winners don’t ingest livestock medication, and I can’t be any clearer than that.
Because he’s way transparenter than that Pelosi broad, Kevin McCarthy released thousands of hours of secret security footage from the Capitol Riot to the media. Well, not the whole media, of course. This footage belongs to the public, not the lügenpresse! Kevin had conditions.
You had to be a serial conspiracy theorist, on everything from Covid to the Big Lie. You definitely had to’ve platformed the white nationalist “great replacement theory,” obviously. Kevin strongly preferred, but did not insist upon candidates who pimp Viktor Orbán and giggle like some sidekick-level cartoon halibut in a direct-to-video Disney sequel, but you couldn’t, under any circumstances, be an actual journalist of any kind.
Now, having thoroughly enjoyed Gym Jordan’s faceplant-heavy debut as Mr. Serious Investigator Man, I am sympathetic to the Speaker’s impulse to outsource propaganda operations to a more experienced hand, but common sense and common decency compel me to ask, what the **** is wrong with you, dude?
Hey Kevin, can somebody who’s not the mouth of American fascism get a peek at them vids? No? Just Tucker? Well, that’s certainly a choice.
It took extra shamelessness to pull that **** in the wake of the Dominion lawsuit revelations, but luckily, that’s the one area where McCarthy’s reserves are limitless. Exclusive access for the guy who knowingly fed his audience lies? Who tried to get a colleague fired for telling the truth?
Who, incidentally, gushed, “If you haven’t seen the tape of (Trump) ordering in McDonald’s, treat yourself?” Unrepentant hate-mongering aside, doesn’t America deserve to hear from someone slightly less pathetic?
“Treat yourself.” If my life were that embarrassing, I suppose I’d craft an elaborate alternate reality to hide in, too.
4 Mar 2023 7:54 am
Been kinda busy of late, too busy for these haunts and so busy I hadn't even had time to parse through my usual 100 plus headlines from last week. Might get around to it. But for now my usual installment from....
Yeah, Kellyanne, Liars are the Worst - Showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts:
Kellyanne Conway is sick of all the dishonesty, you guys. She’s had it up to here (indicating the scar she received at the Bowling Green massacre) with the malignant mendacity of “the people whose job it is to tell you the truth, in the media,” as she put it to Sean Hannity, who agreed that lying is a very bad thing indeed. They were really quite indignant about it.
To be clear, I am, in fact, talking about the Sean Hannity from the Dominion lawsuit filings. In case you thought I meant some other, non-propagandist Sean Hannity, one with decency and shame, who maybe runs a little stationery shop on the outskirts of Paducah. Nope. The one on Fox News.
Oh Fox. You blight. You tumor. If you weren’t ripping my country apart, I’d almost admire the way you’ve built an audience that shrugs off mountains of evidence that you lie to them about the most important things in the world. The tensile strength of the bubble is impressive, is all I’m saying.
In California, one wingnut-dominated county board just cancelled their contract with Dominion, at massive expense to taxpayers. Yes, after days of global headlines about Fox’s lies.
See, in Republican politics, the public must submit to the delusions of the most easily deceived among them.
Tucker Carlson understands that Fox’s audience doesn’t want news, they want a news-shaped excuse to hate the people they already hate. Which Fox provides, better than anyone anywhere. Fox is the Disney of hate. They’ll have a theme park some day.
I always enjoy watching Paul Ryan’s sham intellect fail him. His floundering failure to defend his complicity in Fox’s **** was…perfect. In the party of Lauren Boebert, Paul’s a “thought leader”... in the real world, you’d think twice about entrusting him with the shift manager’s keyring.
Bless their unteachable hearts, House Republicans stomped back to their little hearing rooms this week, more determined than ever to broadcast their many derangements to the electorate. “HEY AMERICA!” they bellow, for reasons I have struggled to grasp, “LOOKIT ALL THE STUPID FAKE **** WE BELIEVE!”
Um…okay. If you insist.
“NO SERIOUSLY THERE IS NO HOAX TOO BUFFOONISH FOR US TO UNCRITICALLY PLATFORM!”
That’s nice. Look, I’m meeting somebody for lunch, so-
“FRAZZLEDRIP JADE HELM DEEP STATE BENGHAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!”
…okay. Well, it was nice catching up!
Yeah, Kellyanne, Liars are the Worst - Showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts:
Kellyanne Conway is sick of all the dishonesty, you guys. She’s had it up to here (indicating the scar she received at the Bowling Green massacre) with the malignant mendacity of “the people whose job it is to tell you the truth, in the media,” as she put it to Sean Hannity, who agreed that lying is a very bad thing indeed. They were really quite indignant about it.
To be clear, I am, in fact, talking about the Sean Hannity from the Dominion lawsuit filings. In case you thought I meant some other, non-propagandist Sean Hannity, one with decency and shame, who maybe runs a little stationery shop on the outskirts of Paducah. Nope. The one on Fox News.
Oh Fox. You blight. You tumor. If you weren’t ripping my country apart, I’d almost admire the way you’ve built an audience that shrugs off mountains of evidence that you lie to them about the most important things in the world. The tensile strength of the bubble is impressive, is all I’m saying.
In California, one wingnut-dominated county board just cancelled their contract with Dominion, at massive expense to taxpayers. Yes, after days of global headlines about Fox’s lies.
See, in Republican politics, the public must submit to the delusions of the most easily deceived among them.
Tucker Carlson understands that Fox’s audience doesn’t want news, they want a news-shaped excuse to hate the people they already hate. Which Fox provides, better than anyone anywhere. Fox is the Disney of hate. They’ll have a theme park some day.
I always enjoy watching Paul Ryan’s sham intellect fail him. His floundering failure to defend his complicity in Fox’s **** was…perfect. In the party of Lauren Boebert, Paul’s a “thought leader”... in the real world, you’d think twice about entrusting him with the shift manager’s keyring.
Bless their unteachable hearts, House Republicans stomped back to their little hearing rooms this week, more determined than ever to broadcast their many derangements to the electorate. “HEY AMERICA!” they bellow, for reasons I have struggled to grasp, “LOOKIT ALL THE STUPID FAKE **** WE BELIEVE!”
Um…okay. If you insist.
“NO SERIOUSLY THERE IS NO HOAX TOO BUFFOONISH FOR US TO UNCRITICALLY PLATFORM!”
That’s nice. Look, I’m meeting somebody for lunch, so-
“FRAZZLEDRIP JADE HELM DEEP STATE BENGHAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!”
…okay. Well, it was nice catching up!
4 Mar 2023 8:07 am
4 Mar 2023 8:19 am
The more the merrier!!!nuckinfutz » 04 Mar 2023, 9:07 am » wrote: ↑ Lets get the new Shower Cap Blog on here! We need the laffs!
Anyone?
4 Mar 2023 8:25 am
Bring it! We need to roll back the red tide of evil that permeates the world today!
1,2, 3!
10 Mar 2023 10:26 pm
Here's the part where I usually say I've a hundred articles waiting to be sorted but for now, another establishment of Cap's blog but, whoops, I've already posted them all.
The Capitol Riot Was Actually Mostly Hugs, Tucker Carlson Told Me So -Showercapblow (dot com)
excerpts:
Y’know, I don’t mind struggling over the soul of the nation, but I confess I’m beginning to resent the quality of the opposition. It feels like I’ve been trapped in a checkout line, between a shrieking toddler and a lady with an inch-thick stack of expired coupons, for like, a thousand years.
Well, thanks to Tucker Carlson’s intrepid investigative journalism, America finally understands the truth the lying lamestream media has attempted to hide for years: the so-called “Capitol Riot” was, in actuality, simply a matter of a single, eccentrically dressed young man trying to deliver a basket of homemade muffins to Nancy Pelosi. And if some random apostate Vice President happened to get lynched in the process, well, such things have been known to happen, in the hazardous world of muffin conveyance.
Forgive my rudeness, Fox Nation, but I gotta ask: how in the name of Four Seasons Total Landscaping are you dopes still falling for this? Do these television personalities you trust so blindly have to **** directly down your throat for you to recognize how deeply they disdain you?
Tucker not only lies to you, he hates your precious Trump, hates him passionately, which is altogether reasonable of him if you ask me, though I certainly respect your right, as a rube and a cultist, to feel differently.
How Kevin McCarthy ever arrived at the conclusion that his party would benefit politically from reminding the electorate of that time a mob of disgruntled Republicans injured 140 police officers is a matter best left to leadership scholars, surely.
But to proceed, in exclusive(!) partnership with the lying, racist weirdo at the center of the biggest media scandal in living memory? I think the American public deserves to know exactly how many quarters McCarthy has shoved up his nose since becoming Speaker.
We’re talking about a network that used an email written by a “cactus artist” who believes she was “internally decapitated” and is thus possibly a “ghost” to justify telling their viewers the 2020 election was stolen. Let me again stress that the ramblings of an allegedly apparitional cactus artist are at the very root of the big, dumb lie that’s driven so many idiots violently insane.
See, Kevin and Tucker think they can force the rest of us to live in their bubble, and…**** you. No. It sucks in your bubble. It smells like crusty MyPillows and failure in there.
The Capitol Riot Was Actually Mostly Hugs, Tucker Carlson Told Me So -Showercapblow (dot com)
excerpts:
Y’know, I don’t mind struggling over the soul of the nation, but I confess I’m beginning to resent the quality of the opposition. It feels like I’ve been trapped in a checkout line, between a shrieking toddler and a lady with an inch-thick stack of expired coupons, for like, a thousand years.
Well, thanks to Tucker Carlson’s intrepid investigative journalism, America finally understands the truth the lying lamestream media has attempted to hide for years: the so-called “Capitol Riot” was, in actuality, simply a matter of a single, eccentrically dressed young man trying to deliver a basket of homemade muffins to Nancy Pelosi. And if some random apostate Vice President happened to get lynched in the process, well, such things have been known to happen, in the hazardous world of muffin conveyance.
Forgive my rudeness, Fox Nation, but I gotta ask: how in the name of Four Seasons Total Landscaping are you dopes still falling for this? Do these television personalities you trust so blindly have to **** directly down your throat for you to recognize how deeply they disdain you?
Tucker not only lies to you, he hates your precious Trump, hates him passionately, which is altogether reasonable of him if you ask me, though I certainly respect your right, as a rube and a cultist, to feel differently.
How Kevin McCarthy ever arrived at the conclusion that his party would benefit politically from reminding the electorate of that time a mob of disgruntled Republicans injured 140 police officers is a matter best left to leadership scholars, surely.
But to proceed, in exclusive(!) partnership with the lying, racist weirdo at the center of the biggest media scandal in living memory? I think the American public deserves to know exactly how many quarters McCarthy has shoved up his nose since becoming Speaker.
We’re talking about a network that used an email written by a “cactus artist” who believes she was “internally decapitated” and is thus possibly a “ghost” to justify telling their viewers the 2020 election was stolen. Let me again stress that the ramblings of an allegedly apparitional cactus artist are at the very root of the big, dumb lie that’s driven so many idiots violently insane.
See, Kevin and Tucker think they can force the rest of us to live in their bubble, and…**** you. No. It sucks in your bubble. It smells like crusty MyPillows and failure in there.
11 Mar 2023 5:52 am
And this is the part where you need to be reminded that no one gives a ****...B.See » 10 Mar 2023, 11:26 pm » wrote: ↑ Here's the part where I usually say I've a hundred articles waiting to be sorted but for now, another establishment of Cap's blog but, whoops, I've already posted them all..
You better stick to your peanut safe spaces...TROLL...
In memory of Pumpkins
11 Mar 2023 10:37 am
Yer one of the most out of touch idiots on this forum!B.See » 12 Oct 2022, 5:06 am » wrote: ↑ ......
LAGNIAPPE GUEST SPOT: STEPHEN COLBERT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pxs2IBSLV4
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lkd2yp440Pg
19 Mar 2023 8:00 am
Of Pudding, Putin, and (Horse) Paste - Friday, March 17th
showercapblog (dot com)
Before we get started, I’d like to take a moment to congratulate everyone on successfully navigating another week without poisoning yourself to death with livestock dewormer. Poisoning yourself to death with livestock dewormer is something that can happen to anyone, anytime, and while it’s never tragic, it’s always really, really **** funny.
This blog is dedicated to the memory of Danny Lemoi, who refused to allow those fancypants “doctors” to dictate what is and isn’t human medicine. Danny loved him some horse paste, ingesting “a daily dose of veterinary ivermectin” for a decade, before shockingly dying from the extensively documented side effects of overdosing on ivermectin.
Equally baffling are the ivermectin overdose symptoms reported by Lemoi’s Telegram channel audience, who tuned in to hear Danny talk about what a good idea it is for people to swallow large quantities of a chemical designed to kill parasites inside cows, until his untimely death from, again, ivermectin poisoning.
You’ll no doubt be pleased to learn that “Lemoi also formulated an ivermectin regimen for children, and numerous members of the group reported that they were using it.” I don’t want to step on anybody’s toes here, but maybe the real groomers are the ones grooming their own kids to be cattle.
‘Course, you flip on Fox, and there’s Maria Bartiromo, slinging all the old lies about ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine, receiving no pushback whatsoever from her conversation partner, a United States Senator who has been known to self-identify as a medical doctor.
Yeah, people still watch Fox. In fact, only 9 percent of Fox viewers said they’re watching the network less than they used to, now that they’ve learned they’re viewed by Fox executives as not only incestuous terrorists, “but especially dumb ones.” (It must be said, these private communications hew closer to the truth than most of their on-air content.)
It’s still snug n’ cozy in the right-wing media bubble, where Silicon Valley Bank somehow failed because of “wokeness.”
I knew it had to be wokeness, drag queens, or Hunter Biden’s laptop. Good thing we’ve got Fox to tell us who to hate whenever anything happens.
Also, I’m told “Tucker Carlson’s Capitol videos are giving Jan. 6 defendants false hope.” How delightful. A charming justice niblet. A petit four. Terrorists should be made to feel crushing disappointment whenever possible, don’t you think?
showercapblog (dot com)
Before we get started, I’d like to take a moment to congratulate everyone on successfully navigating another week without poisoning yourself to death with livestock dewormer. Poisoning yourself to death with livestock dewormer is something that can happen to anyone, anytime, and while it’s never tragic, it’s always really, really **** funny.
This blog is dedicated to the memory of Danny Lemoi, who refused to allow those fancypants “doctors” to dictate what is and isn’t human medicine. Danny loved him some horse paste, ingesting “a daily dose of veterinary ivermectin” for a decade, before shockingly dying from the extensively documented side effects of overdosing on ivermectin.
Equally baffling are the ivermectin overdose symptoms reported by Lemoi’s Telegram channel audience, who tuned in to hear Danny talk about what a good idea it is for people to swallow large quantities of a chemical designed to kill parasites inside cows, until his untimely death from, again, ivermectin poisoning.
You’ll no doubt be pleased to learn that “Lemoi also formulated an ivermectin regimen for children, and numerous members of the group reported that they were using it.” I don’t want to step on anybody’s toes here, but maybe the real groomers are the ones grooming their own kids to be cattle.
‘Course, you flip on Fox, and there’s Maria Bartiromo, slinging all the old lies about ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine, receiving no pushback whatsoever from her conversation partner, a United States Senator who has been known to self-identify as a medical doctor.
Yeah, people still watch Fox. In fact, only 9 percent of Fox viewers said they’re watching the network less than they used to, now that they’ve learned they’re viewed by Fox executives as not only incestuous terrorists, “but especially dumb ones.” (It must be said, these private communications hew closer to the truth than most of their on-air content.)
It’s still snug n’ cozy in the right-wing media bubble, where Silicon Valley Bank somehow failed because of “wokeness.”
I knew it had to be wokeness, drag queens, or Hunter Biden’s laptop. Good thing we’ve got Fox to tell us who to hate whenever anything happens.
Also, I’m told “Tucker Carlson’s Capitol videos are giving Jan. 6 defendants false hope.” How delightful. A charming justice niblet. A petit four. Terrorists should be made to feel crushing disappointment whenever possible, don’t you think?
19 Mar 2023 8:07 am
20 Mar 2023 5:27 am
Of Pudding, Putin, and (Horse) Paste - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
Between the atrocity of last week’s Kari Lake/Steve Bannon/“stud muffin” story, and the revelation that Ron DeSantis eats pudding with his fingers, this blog is in serious danger of veering into body horror. It tracks, though. Not difficult to picture him flipping through grade school textbooks that’ve deleted all references to race from the story of Rosa Parks, absentmindedly sucking the last traces of butterscotch from beneath each nail in turn, nodding, smiling.
Ron sure loves punching down with them puddin’-crusted mitts. Now he’s stripping a Miami hotel of its liquor license for hosting a drag show, because in Florida, your speech rights are limited by the prejudices of the resentment cult the governor spends his days pandering to.
DeSantis also went on a known liar’s television program to spout some cringe-level Kremlin propaganda, in what may have been an attempt to demonstrate “foreign policy chops,” in which case…yikes.
Even the Wall Street Journal editorial board joined the dogpile, and DeSantis is already sliding in the polls, amidst increasing voter awareness that Ron DeSantis is just dumb, mean, and less interesting than the dumb, mean guy they’ve already got.
Still, Ron wanted Putin to understand that if he ever found himself on the lam from the International Criminal Court on war crimes charges, he’d always have a spot on the fold out in the basement. “And hey, no pressure, but if you happened to feel like interfering in another American election…I dunno, might be a fun distraction from micromanaging that legacy-annihilating war of aggression you’re losing.”
Hide the women and children, a slap fight finally broke out on the long-dormant Trump/Pence front! Mikey says Donnie isn’t a real Christian and Donnie says Mikey caused the Capitol Riot by not giving the terrorist mob what it wanted and of course everyone’s still touchy about the lynching thing.
In addition to his Christianness-evaluating duties, Pence offered some thoughts on Pete Buttigieg’s masculinity. They were, of course, ****, homophobic thoughts, which would probably do him some good in the Republican primary, if only he weren’t, you know, MAGA Judas.
excerpts part two:
Between the atrocity of last week’s Kari Lake/Steve Bannon/“stud muffin” story, and the revelation that Ron DeSantis eats pudding with his fingers, this blog is in serious danger of veering into body horror. It tracks, though. Not difficult to picture him flipping through grade school textbooks that’ve deleted all references to race from the story of Rosa Parks, absentmindedly sucking the last traces of butterscotch from beneath each nail in turn, nodding, smiling.
Ron sure loves punching down with them puddin’-crusted mitts. Now he’s stripping a Miami hotel of its liquor license for hosting a drag show, because in Florida, your speech rights are limited by the prejudices of the resentment cult the governor spends his days pandering to.
DeSantis also went on a known liar’s television program to spout some cringe-level Kremlin propaganda, in what may have been an attempt to demonstrate “foreign policy chops,” in which case…yikes.
Even the Wall Street Journal editorial board joined the dogpile, and DeSantis is already sliding in the polls, amidst increasing voter awareness that Ron DeSantis is just dumb, mean, and less interesting than the dumb, mean guy they’ve already got.
Still, Ron wanted Putin to understand that if he ever found himself on the lam from the International Criminal Court on war crimes charges, he’d always have a spot on the fold out in the basement. “And hey, no pressure, but if you happened to feel like interfering in another American election…I dunno, might be a fun distraction from micromanaging that legacy-annihilating war of aggression you’re losing.”
Hide the women and children, a slap fight finally broke out on the long-dormant Trump/Pence front! Mikey says Donnie isn’t a real Christian and Donnie says Mikey caused the Capitol Riot by not giving the terrorist mob what it wanted and of course everyone’s still touchy about the lynching thing.
In addition to his Christianness-evaluating duties, Pence offered some thoughts on Pete Buttigieg’s masculinity. They were, of course, ****, homophobic thoughts, which would probably do him some good in the Republican primary, if only he weren’t, you know, MAGA Judas.
29 Mar 2023 9:12 pm
AS usual I've saved hundreds of news items articles and op-eds over the last week (?) thinking about anything other than this fascist fest they've now got going on here at the so-called "liberal" forum (that has succeeded in running most liberals off, while creating fabricated **** excuses for banning liberals they don't agree with). But first, here's the latest from showercapblog (dot com)
Perp-Walk Fixation’s Third Album is an Underrated New Wave Masterpiece
excerpts part one.
Sitting around waiting for Donald Trump to get arrested is at least pleasanter than sitting around waiting for Donald Trump to concede, or leave office, or potentially provoke nuclear catastrophe on the Korean Peninsula. I could do without the lurking threat of loser street violence, of course.
He works harder at whipping up murderous lunatics than he ever did at serving the American public. No premature declarations of victory or long golf weekends here, just a steady stream of all caps social media posts: PLEASE KILL ALVIN BRAGG FOR ME I’M TOO PRETTY FOR PRISON.
Nifty, innit, that the overwhelming frontrunner for a third consecutive Republican presidential nomination is trying to get a law enforcement official assassinated? That’s normal and healthy and fun. Doesn’t seem to be above-the-fold news, either, which is even more normal and healthy and fun.
He’s calling his enemies “human scum” and ranting about “death and destruction” and posting **** like “incidentally, if anyone’s wondering what Alvin Bragg looks like, here’s a picture of me menacing him with a baseball bat.” Liberally sprinkling accusations of being “Soros-backed,” it’s all terrifically subtle.
But then, riot turnout ain’t what it used to be, possibly because of the high incarceration rate. You best watch out, Dotard, in death cult politics, you’re only as mighty as your last lynch mob. Your would-be successors’ll rip you to pieces if they smell weakness.
…or they would, if they weren’t terrified to criticize you in any way. There’s a lot more groveling in the 2024 Republican presidential primary than is typical of competitive human endeavors, have you noticed that? You don’t tend to see a great deal of cowering deference on, say, the offensive line. But everybody’s too afraid of this prattling **** to actually, y’know…oppose him.
Personally, I think if you want to be President of the United States, you can’t be afraid of any game show hosts. There should be a questionnaire, with a list of every single game show host in the world, and you check the ones you’re scared of, and if you check any boxes at all, you don’t get to run for President. That should be in the Constitution.
Leave it to Donald Trump to **** up getting arrested. Got everybody’s hopes up for a big show on Tuesday, failed to deliver. Just like always, in all things. From airlines to vodka to pandemic management to casinos to pants to midterms, the Trump brand delivers failure. Failure you can set your watch to.
Perp-Walk Fixation’s Third Album is an Underrated New Wave Masterpiece
excerpts part one.
Sitting around waiting for Donald Trump to get arrested is at least pleasanter than sitting around waiting for Donald Trump to concede, or leave office, or potentially provoke nuclear catastrophe on the Korean Peninsula. I could do without the lurking threat of loser street violence, of course.
He works harder at whipping up murderous lunatics than he ever did at serving the American public. No premature declarations of victory or long golf weekends here, just a steady stream of all caps social media posts: PLEASE KILL ALVIN BRAGG FOR ME I’M TOO PRETTY FOR PRISON.
Nifty, innit, that the overwhelming frontrunner for a third consecutive Republican presidential nomination is trying to get a law enforcement official assassinated? That’s normal and healthy and fun. Doesn’t seem to be above-the-fold news, either, which is even more normal and healthy and fun.
He’s calling his enemies “human scum” and ranting about “death and destruction” and posting **** like “incidentally, if anyone’s wondering what Alvin Bragg looks like, here’s a picture of me menacing him with a baseball bat.” Liberally sprinkling accusations of being “Soros-backed,” it’s all terrifically subtle.
But then, riot turnout ain’t what it used to be, possibly because of the high incarceration rate. You best watch out, Dotard, in death cult politics, you’re only as mighty as your last lynch mob. Your would-be successors’ll rip you to pieces if they smell weakness.
…or they would, if they weren’t terrified to criticize you in any way. There’s a lot more groveling in the 2024 Republican presidential primary than is typical of competitive human endeavors, have you noticed that? You don’t tend to see a great deal of cowering deference on, say, the offensive line. But everybody’s too afraid of this prattling **** to actually, y’know…oppose him.
Personally, I think if you want to be President of the United States, you can’t be afraid of any game show hosts. There should be a questionnaire, with a list of every single game show host in the world, and you check the ones you’re scared of, and if you check any boxes at all, you don’t get to run for President. That should be in the Constitution.
Leave it to Donald Trump to **** up getting arrested. Got everybody’s hopes up for a big show on Tuesday, failed to deliver. Just like always, in all things. From airlines to vodka to pandemic management to casinos to pants to midterms, the Trump brand delivers failure. Failure you can set your watch to.
29 Mar 2023 9:14 pm
And as usual... nobody is going to read your tripe.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people
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