Liberal Forum
Archive
‹
Political Chat Rooms
‹
Liberals Only Political Chat Room
‹
LAGNIAPPE: The Shower Cap Blog
LAGNIAPPE: The Shower Cap Blog
By B.See
5 Jan 2022 7:34 am in Liberals Only Political Chat Room
30 Mar 2023 7:31 am
No one gives a **** about his spam, @B.See is a worthless troll, I was going to tell him.. as usual.. I see that has already been taken care of but I tagged him anyway, just to make sure he gets the message..RedheadedStranger » 29 Mar 2023, 9:14 pm » wrote: ↑ And as usual... nobody is going to read your tripe.
mg:
In memory of Pumpkins
30 Mar 2023 7:35 am
^^^ do you actually believe I read notifications and "tags" from you clowns? Wouldn't have see your response if I hadn't opened the thread to post THIS:
Perp-Walk Fixation’s Third Album is an Underrated New Wave Masterpiece - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
And yet.
With the political instincts of cattle with self-esteem issues, the Republican Party has decided once more to rally around the crooked doofus who’s cost them three elections running. Does the GOP serve any function anymore, beyond helping this one old man commit crimes? (Outside of terrorizing trans kids, of course.)
Jim Jordan re-deputized himself Fancy Investigator Man in Charge of Whatever’s Upsetting Mr. Trump Today, and let’s set aside the instinctual abuse of power here, and contemplate for a moment, like…is it possible that Jim Jordan still believes he’s good at investigating things? Aw. Sweetie, no.
Everyone inside the MAGA bubble agrees the indictment guarantees the Dotard’s reelection, for…reasons. Sure.
And ivermectin will fall from the sky, washing away the groomers and the vaccinators and the busloads of antifas, on a wave of horse paste. “While the incompetence and venality turn me off, there’s an undeniable bad boy charm to him now, which I can only describe as…indicted-y.”
Of course, no one’s buried deeper in this delusion than Donnie One-Term himself, who apparently spends his days waltzing madly around Mar-a-Lago, caught up in his “perp-walk fixation,” dreaming of the gown his fairy godmother weaves even now for the persecution pageant to come, like some carny-grade Norma Desmond.
If getting arrested is his kink, this might just work out for everybody. You’d need a scorecard to keep up with all the aides n’ lawyers who’ve been ordered to testify before the various grand juries. Still curiously absent from the discourse on the Right: the once noncontroversial Electing Criminals is Bad, Actually take.
Meanwhile, Republicans’re desperate to like Ron DeSantis, but he sure makes it tough for ‘em, with that “inescapable ****” thing he’s got going on. Ron DeSantis sucks so hard, he’s somehow managed to need a staff shakeup before even officially launching his campaign, which…yikes.
Say what you will about the standard, you wouldn’t want to have a beer with Ron, would you? In fact, you wouldn’t leave a drink unattended around Ron. He’s creepy and hateful and mean. He’s a jerk. He bans books and undermines press freedoms.
He’s turned Florida into a place where criminals get to legislatively impose their personal prejudices on the populace, and every bored wannabe theocrat has the power to get educators fired for exposing kids to works of art that have endured for centuries.
Where they’re trying to pass a law that would ban young girls from discussing periods in school.
The man is not even capable of engaging in light, low-stakes pandering without generating negative press. Ron DeSantis has zero game. He is sans game.
Well, maybe I’m wrong, and maybe America is about to fall in love with a lurching goon who picks fights with Rosa Parks and Disney. Maybe there’re lots of winners who sullenly demand “call me a winner” during television interviews, I just can’t think of any off the top of my head.
Perp-Walk Fixation’s Third Album is an Underrated New Wave Masterpiece - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
And yet.
With the political instincts of cattle with self-esteem issues, the Republican Party has decided once more to rally around the crooked doofus who’s cost them three elections running. Does the GOP serve any function anymore, beyond helping this one old man commit crimes? (Outside of terrorizing trans kids, of course.)
Jim Jordan re-deputized himself Fancy Investigator Man in Charge of Whatever’s Upsetting Mr. Trump Today, and let’s set aside the instinctual abuse of power here, and contemplate for a moment, like…is it possible that Jim Jordan still believes he’s good at investigating things? Aw. Sweetie, no.
Everyone inside the MAGA bubble agrees the indictment guarantees the Dotard’s reelection, for…reasons. Sure.
And ivermectin will fall from the sky, washing away the groomers and the vaccinators and the busloads of antifas, on a wave of horse paste. “While the incompetence and venality turn me off, there’s an undeniable bad boy charm to him now, which I can only describe as…indicted-y.”
Of course, no one’s buried deeper in this delusion than Donnie One-Term himself, who apparently spends his days waltzing madly around Mar-a-Lago, caught up in his “perp-walk fixation,” dreaming of the gown his fairy godmother weaves even now for the persecution pageant to come, like some carny-grade Norma Desmond.
If getting arrested is his kink, this might just work out for everybody. You’d need a scorecard to keep up with all the aides n’ lawyers who’ve been ordered to testify before the various grand juries. Still curiously absent from the discourse on the Right: the once noncontroversial Electing Criminals is Bad, Actually take.
Meanwhile, Republicans’re desperate to like Ron DeSantis, but he sure makes it tough for ‘em, with that “inescapable ****” thing he’s got going on. Ron DeSantis sucks so hard, he’s somehow managed to need a staff shakeup before even officially launching his campaign, which…yikes.
Say what you will about the standard, you wouldn’t want to have a beer with Ron, would you? In fact, you wouldn’t leave a drink unattended around Ron. He’s creepy and hateful and mean. He’s a jerk. He bans books and undermines press freedoms.
He’s turned Florida into a place where criminals get to legislatively impose their personal prejudices on the populace, and every bored wannabe theocrat has the power to get educators fired for exposing kids to works of art that have endured for centuries.
Where they’re trying to pass a law that would ban young girls from discussing periods in school.
The man is not even capable of engaging in light, low-stakes pandering without generating negative press. Ron DeSantis has zero game. He is sans game.
Well, maybe I’m wrong, and maybe America is about to fall in love with a lurching goon who picks fights with Rosa Parks and Disney. Maybe there’re lots of winners who sullenly demand “call me a winner” during television interviews, I just can’t think of any off the top of my head.
30 Mar 2023 10:17 am
Are you afraid of what will happen when Trump wins?B.See » 30 Mar 2023, 7:35 am » wrote: ↑ ^^^ do you actually believe I read notifications and "tags" from you clowns? Wouldn't have see your response if I hadn't opened the thread to post THIS:
Perp-Walk Fixation’s Third Album is an Underrated New Wave Masterpiece - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
And yet.
With the political instincts of cattle with self-esteem issues, the Republican Party has decided once more to rally around the crooked doofus who’s cost them three elections running. Does the GOP serve any function anymore, beyond helping this one old man commit crimes? (Outside of terrorizing trans kids, of course.)
Jim Jordan re-deputized himself Fancy Investigator Man in Charge of Whatever’s Upsetting Mr. Trump Today, and let’s set aside the instinctual abuse of power here, and contemplate for a moment, like…is it possible that Jim Jordan still believes he’s good at investigating things? Aw. Sweetie, no.
Everyone inside the MAGA bubble agrees the indictment guarantees the Dotard’s reelection, for…reasons. Sure.
And ivermectin will fall from the sky, washing away the groomers and the vaccinators and the busloads of antifas, on a wave of horse paste. “While the incompetence and venality turn me off, there’s an undeniable bad boy charm to him now, which I can only describe as…indicted-y.”
Of course, no one’s buried deeper in this delusion than Donnie One-Term himself, who apparently spends his days waltzing madly around Mar-a-Lago, caught up in his “perp-walk fixation,” dreaming of the gown his fairy godmother weaves even now for the persecution pageant to come, like some carny-grade Norma Desmond.
If getting arrested is his kink, this might just work out for everybody. You’d need a scorecard to keep up with all the aides n’ lawyers who’ve been ordered to testify before the various grand juries. Still curiously absent from the discourse on the Right: the once noncontroversial Electing Criminals is Bad, Actually take.
Meanwhile, Republicans’re desperate to like Ron DeSantis, but he sure makes it tough for ‘em, with that “inescapable ****” thing he’s got going on. Ron DeSantis sucks so hard, he’s somehow managed to need a staff shakeup before even officially launching his campaign, which…yikes.
Say what you will about the standard, you wouldn’t want to have a beer with Ron, would you? In fact, you wouldn’t leave a drink unattended around Ron. He’s creepy and hateful and mean. He’s a jerk. He bans books and undermines press freedoms.
He’s turned Florida into a place where criminals get to legislatively impose their personal prejudices on the populace, and every bored wannabe theocrat has the power to get educators fired for exposing kids to works of art that have endured for centuries.
Where they’re trying to pass a law that would ban young girls from discussing periods in school.
The man is not even capable of engaging in light, low-stakes pandering without generating negative press. Ron DeSantis has zero game. He is sans game.
Well, maybe I’m wrong, and maybe America is about to fall in love with a lurching goon who picks fights with Rosa Parks and Disney. Maybe there’re lots of winners who sullenly demand “call me a winner” during television interviews, I just can’t think of any off the top of my head.
2 Apr 2023 6:29 am
While whittling down this weeks news articles to a few hundred allow me to offer up the latest Shower Cap Blog which opens with TFG's indictment, a development which to me is tantamount to someone finally admitting water is wet, as if we didn't know it all the while.
Besides which, imo, given Trump's veritable LIFETIME of criminality, obstruction, insurrection, and treason, it's almost a fkng national EMBARASSMENT that the first indictment to land on this clown is over a porn star payoff. But hey, at least SOMEBODY had the fkng balls to charge him with something.
Now, maybe the other chicken-**** will finally, after two years, GROW A PAIR.
Mummy, the Indictment Fairy Finally Came! showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part one:
After decades of frequently illegal public ****, Off-Brand Orbán finally got indicted, presenting the American Right with yet another opportunity to retake the Should We Do Fascism test, which, well…at a certain point, you don’t expect progress anymore, but you’re still allowed to be disappointed, I think.
Excuse me, got “indicated.” We strive for accuracy here. But about the fascism:
Yeah, he’s trying to whip up a murder mob again, just like the last time he was backed into a corner. Merrily agitating away on his freshly-restored Facebook page. That was a good call, Zuck, thanks for your help. He’s going after the judge now, in addition to Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, already the target of death threats and lynching fantasies.
So now we wait to see how many weirdos show up in New York next Tuesday. Marjorie Taylor Greene, sensing a brand-building opportunity, was among the first to RSVP. It’ll be like the MAGA Met Gala. I wonder what wacky outfits they’ll wear, and will they be accessorizing with zip ties or AR-15s this year?
Turnout has been mercifully, hilariously low at pro-Dotard protests so far, but the screeching heads’re really screeching right now, so I guess we’ll see.
A culture-wide conniption fit inside a disinformation bubble is really quite something. This one, brazenly corrupt asshole must be protected and elevated at all costs, his every whim made reality, or I fear we shall have no choice but to become violent.
Of course you have a choice. Every passing moment is a fresh, dewy opportunity to pull your head out of your ***. Stop worshiping a loser, dorks. I promise you it’s that simple.
Trumpism is a Russian plot to embarrass the United States on the stage of world history. And it’s working.
Look at the statement the New York Young Republican Club smeared on the wall in fecal matter. Seriously, look at it: “resident Trump embodies the American people—our psyche from id to super-ego—as does no other figure; his soul is totally bonded with our core values and emotions, and he is our total and indisputable champion.”
Wow, that is definitely how people who aren’t in cults talk. Why would you want Donald Trump’s soul bonded to your emotions? I can’t even imagine that without H.R. Giger’s help.
“Young Republican Club.” The future’s so bright, it’s gotta wear shades, or, better still, some sort of harness that keeps it from reproducing.
Incidentally, just like on January 6th, don’t expect to see Charmin-softbois like Tucker Carlson and Jason Whitlock beside you on the ramparts. They won’t be serving prison sentences alongside you, either. You rubes. You brainless **** rubes.
Besides which, imo, given Trump's veritable LIFETIME of criminality, obstruction, insurrection, and treason, it's almost a fkng national EMBARASSMENT that the first indictment to land on this clown is over a porn star payoff. But hey, at least SOMEBODY had the fkng balls to charge him with something.
Now, maybe the other chicken-**** will finally, after two years, GROW A PAIR.
Mummy, the Indictment Fairy Finally Came! showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part one:
After decades of frequently illegal public ****, Off-Brand Orbán finally got indicted, presenting the American Right with yet another opportunity to retake the Should We Do Fascism test, which, well…at a certain point, you don’t expect progress anymore, but you’re still allowed to be disappointed, I think.
Excuse me, got “indicated.” We strive for accuracy here. But about the fascism:
Yeah, he’s trying to whip up a murder mob again, just like the last time he was backed into a corner. Merrily agitating away on his freshly-restored Facebook page. That was a good call, Zuck, thanks for your help. He’s going after the judge now, in addition to Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, already the target of death threats and lynching fantasies.
So now we wait to see how many weirdos show up in New York next Tuesday. Marjorie Taylor Greene, sensing a brand-building opportunity, was among the first to RSVP. It’ll be like the MAGA Met Gala. I wonder what wacky outfits they’ll wear, and will they be accessorizing with zip ties or AR-15s this year?
Turnout has been mercifully, hilariously low at pro-Dotard protests so far, but the screeching heads’re really screeching right now, so I guess we’ll see.
A culture-wide conniption fit inside a disinformation bubble is really quite something. This one, brazenly corrupt asshole must be protected and elevated at all costs, his every whim made reality, or I fear we shall have no choice but to become violent.
Of course you have a choice. Every passing moment is a fresh, dewy opportunity to pull your head out of your ***. Stop worshiping a loser, dorks. I promise you it’s that simple.
Trumpism is a Russian plot to embarrass the United States on the stage of world history. And it’s working.
Look at the statement the New York Young Republican Club smeared on the wall in fecal matter. Seriously, look at it: “resident Trump embodies the American people—our psyche from id to super-ego—as does no other figure; his soul is totally bonded with our core values and emotions, and he is our total and indisputable champion.”
Wow, that is definitely how people who aren’t in cults talk. Why would you want Donald Trump’s soul bonded to your emotions? I can’t even imagine that without H.R. Giger’s help.
“Young Republican Club.” The future’s so bright, it’s gotta wear shades, or, better still, some sort of harness that keeps it from reproducing.
Incidentally, just like on January 6th, don’t expect to see Charmin-softbois like Tucker Carlson and Jason Whitlock beside you on the ramparts. They won’t be serving prison sentences alongside you, either. You rubes. You brainless **** rubes.
2 Apr 2023 7:31 am
3 Apr 2023 5:14 am
So, C-BS gave a hate peddling rabble rousing insurrectionist sympathizer free air time today. Didn't bother to watch it, but heard queen Karen labeled all liberals "pedophiles" to no one's surprise. Hmmmm... Now where have I heard that kind of redneck, knuckle dragging **** before, I wonder?
But hey, all MAGAS are fascists and Nazis, so it's all good, right?
ANYWHO, more from the Shower Cap Blog:
Mummy, the Indictment Fairy Finally Came! showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
Ah, but rubes who must be pandered to! DeSantis bleated out a sad, flaccid pledge to violate the U.S. Constitution on behalf of the guy who’s been relentlessly pelting him with abuse for a month, because I guess Ted Cruz has been giving seminars.
“See, when you run against Trump, you eat his **** until he beats you, and then you’re a joke for the rest of your life!” Thanks for the tip, Ted.
It would be lovely if somebody in the GOP could mount a serious challenge to the game show host, since he’s apparently plotting to hollow out the administrative state and invade Mexico, but we’re not exactly walking among titans, here.
I see history’s dumbest death cult formally added Capitol Riot worship to the already embarrassing ritual they refer to as a “Trump rally,” where they gather to fete their living idiot god, currently on year four of bragging about passing a cognitive test once.
But yeah, Waco was weird. A Trump rally feels like the sort of place you’d get trapped in during a Twilight Zone episode. But also the lamest possible version of that. Ted Nugent rants for a bit and the MyPillow guy rants for a bit and they play a video of a bunch of furious **** failing to lynch Mike Pence.
Of course, despite everything, he’s actually rising in the polls, because A) Republican primary voters are incurable jagoffs, and B) Ron DeSantis just sucks that much.
Watching Ron stumble onto the national stage, you’d think you were witnessing meticulously choreographed slapstick; every footstep somehow finds a rake. Ron DeSantis is the Barney Fife of Doug Mastrianos.
The drooling goon was already earning headlines like “DeSantis has never been tested. And it shows,” “What Ron DeSantis and Derek Zoolander have in common,” and, for you cut-to-the-chase types, “Why Ron DeSantis Looks Like a Loser,” and that was before Mickey Mouse dipped a four-fingered glove into his pudding cup.
And the Mouse ate his fill. No pudding for Ron, and no power for his power grab. Feels a little weird, cheering the corporate behemoth, but anybody who crotch-punts a book-banner is ok with me.
But hey, all MAGAS are fascists and Nazis, so it's all good, right?
ANYWHO, more from the Shower Cap Blog:
Mummy, the Indictment Fairy Finally Came! showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
Ah, but rubes who must be pandered to! DeSantis bleated out a sad, flaccid pledge to violate the U.S. Constitution on behalf of the guy who’s been relentlessly pelting him with abuse for a month, because I guess Ted Cruz has been giving seminars.
“See, when you run against Trump, you eat his **** until he beats you, and then you’re a joke for the rest of your life!” Thanks for the tip, Ted.
It would be lovely if somebody in the GOP could mount a serious challenge to the game show host, since he’s apparently plotting to hollow out the administrative state and invade Mexico, but we’re not exactly walking among titans, here.
I see history’s dumbest death cult formally added Capitol Riot worship to the already embarrassing ritual they refer to as a “Trump rally,” where they gather to fete their living idiot god, currently on year four of bragging about passing a cognitive test once.
But yeah, Waco was weird. A Trump rally feels like the sort of place you’d get trapped in during a Twilight Zone episode. But also the lamest possible version of that. Ted Nugent rants for a bit and the MyPillow guy rants for a bit and they play a video of a bunch of furious **** failing to lynch Mike Pence.
Of course, despite everything, he’s actually rising in the polls, because A) Republican primary voters are incurable jagoffs, and B) Ron DeSantis just sucks that much.
Watching Ron stumble onto the national stage, you’d think you were witnessing meticulously choreographed slapstick; every footstep somehow finds a rake. Ron DeSantis is the Barney Fife of Doug Mastrianos.
The drooling goon was already earning headlines like “DeSantis has never been tested. And it shows,” “What Ron DeSantis and Derek Zoolander have in common,” and, for you cut-to-the-chase types, “Why Ron DeSantis Looks Like a Loser,” and that was before Mickey Mouse dipped a four-fingered glove into his pudding cup.
And the Mouse ate his fill. No pudding for Ron, and no power for his power grab. Feels a little weird, cheering the corporate behemoth, but anybody who crotch-punts a book-banner is ok with me.
3 Apr 2023 6:43 am
8 Apr 2023 7:16 am
Yeah, Exactly Like Jesus - Friday, April 7th, 2023 - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part one:
I write tonight’s post from the roof of my apartment building, awaiting FEMA rescue, in the aftermath of the deluge of think pieces n’ hot takes about the strength of Alvin Bragg’s case. Feeling good about my decision to gouge my eyes out to spare myself further punditry. Please send beer.
Yes, America spent a day and a half watching that goony little doofus fly from Florida to New York to get arrested, and then we yelled at the television for showing it to us, for we are a nation of assholes, and Donald Trump was sent to plague us, by some sort of cosmic Greek tragedian.
He didn’t get the long, slow, martyr march he wanted, (Melania wouldn’t let him use any of the good tiaras anyway) just courtroom sketches and a couple photos where he looks scared. You can buy a shirt with a fake mugshot on it, though. That’s a shirt you can buy, so everyone around you will know what a **** you are. It’s like a MAGA hat, but a shirt.
Republicans, from the highest halls of power to the Appalachianest diners of Real America, rallied obsequiously to their precious, fading game show host, because they don’t know how to do anything else anymore. Well, stay on the sinking ship, fellas. Lifeboats are for cucks.
Lindsey Graham is organizing a bake sale for next Sunday, or maybe an insurrection, I couldn’t make it out through the blubbering.
Jim Jordan wants to know if it’s possible to defund the rule of law all at once, or if it’d be easier to go agency by agency? And of course, George Santos was there.
Anyway, the Dotard is basically Jesus, and/or Nelson Mandela, like Marjorie Taylor Greene says. I feel like Nelson Mandela’s social media posts wouldn’t be quite so racist. I’m not saying Jesus’ would be, mind you. I bet both of them would immediately grasp that a cognitive test doesn’t measure intelligence, though.
You don’t get any more Christlike than MAGA, that’s for sure. For He did circulate amongst His followers the likeness of the daughter of the judge in His porn star hush money case, that they might menace her with hammers and bear spray and perhaps the odd nail gun.
No riot this time, which is great for all sorts of reasons. The more headlines like “Lone MAGA supporter awaits Trump in New York, fears antifa” the better. (I had to work that one in because it’s perfect and I love it. Say it out loud. Honor the comma. Really linger.)
Marj was on 60 Minutes, by the way, which I guess means she’s normalized now. I dunno, I’m not sure how normal you can make someone who rants about Jewish space lasers, but it’s something else to be mad about, if you’re hard up for **** to be mad about.
excerpts part one:
I write tonight’s post from the roof of my apartment building, awaiting FEMA rescue, in the aftermath of the deluge of think pieces n’ hot takes about the strength of Alvin Bragg’s case. Feeling good about my decision to gouge my eyes out to spare myself further punditry. Please send beer.
Yes, America spent a day and a half watching that goony little doofus fly from Florida to New York to get arrested, and then we yelled at the television for showing it to us, for we are a nation of assholes, and Donald Trump was sent to plague us, by some sort of cosmic Greek tragedian.
He didn’t get the long, slow, martyr march he wanted, (Melania wouldn’t let him use any of the good tiaras anyway) just courtroom sketches and a couple photos where he looks scared. You can buy a shirt with a fake mugshot on it, though. That’s a shirt you can buy, so everyone around you will know what a **** you are. It’s like a MAGA hat, but a shirt.
Republicans, from the highest halls of power to the Appalachianest diners of Real America, rallied obsequiously to their precious, fading game show host, because they don’t know how to do anything else anymore. Well, stay on the sinking ship, fellas. Lifeboats are for cucks.
Lindsey Graham is organizing a bake sale for next Sunday, or maybe an insurrection, I couldn’t make it out through the blubbering.
Jim Jordan wants to know if it’s possible to defund the rule of law all at once, or if it’d be easier to go agency by agency? And of course, George Santos was there.
Anyway, the Dotard is basically Jesus, and/or Nelson Mandela, like Marjorie Taylor Greene says. I feel like Nelson Mandela’s social media posts wouldn’t be quite so racist. I’m not saying Jesus’ would be, mind you. I bet both of them would immediately grasp that a cognitive test doesn’t measure intelligence, though.
You don’t get any more Christlike than MAGA, that’s for sure. For He did circulate amongst His followers the likeness of the daughter of the judge in His porn star hush money case, that they might menace her with hammers and bear spray and perhaps the odd nail gun.
No riot this time, which is great for all sorts of reasons. The more headlines like “Lone MAGA supporter awaits Trump in New York, fears antifa” the better. (I had to work that one in because it’s perfect and I love it. Say it out loud. Honor the comma. Really linger.)
Marj was on 60 Minutes, by the way, which I guess means she’s normalized now. I dunno, I’m not sure how normal you can make someone who rants about Jewish space lasers, but it’s something else to be mad about, if you’re hard up for **** to be mad about.
8 Apr 2023 7:49 am
you are a child GROOMER and nothing you say will change that.B.See » 15 Sep 2022, 7:12 am » wrote: ↑ ...apparently YOU care, TROLL
MOVING RIGHT ALONG, here's a viddy of Stephen Colbert's genius monologue from his last show. The best parts (about Russia and the MAGA's) begins right after the commercial break, midway through. Enjoy, my fellow liberals:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0p_EQDcFvE
8 Apr 2023 8:02 am
you are a child GROOMER and nothing you say will change that.B.See » 08 Apr 2023, 7:16 am » wrote: ↑ Yeah, Exactly Like Jesus - Friday, April 7th, 2023 - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part one:
I write tonight’s post from the roof of my apartment building, awaiting FEMA rescue, in the aftermath of the deluge of think pieces n’ hot takes about the strength of Alvin Bragg’s case. Feeling good about my decision to gouge my eyes out to spare myself further punditry. Please send beer.
Yes, America spent a day and a half watching that goony little doofus fly from Florida to New York to get arrested, and then we yelled at the television for showing it to us, for we are a nation of assholes, and Donald Trump was sent to plague us, by some sort of cosmic Greek tragedian.
He didn’t get the long, slow, martyr march he wanted, (Melania wouldn’t let him use any of the good tiaras anyway) just courtroom sketches and a couple photos where he looks scared. You can buy a shirt with a fake mugshot on it, though. That’s a shirt you can buy, so everyone around you will know what a **** you are. It’s like a MAGA hat, but a shirt.
Republicans, from the highest halls of power to the Appalachianest diners of Real America, rallied obsequiously to their precious, fading game show host, because they don’t know how to do anything else anymore. Well, stay on the sinking ship, fellas. Lifeboats are for cucks.
Lindsey Graham is organizing a bake sale for next Sunday, or maybe an insurrection, I couldn’t make it out through the blubbering.
Jim Jordan wants to know if it’s possible to defund the rule of law all at once, or if it’d be easier to go agency by agency? And of course, George Santos was there.
Anyway, the Dotard is basically Jesus, and/or Nelson Mandela, like Marjorie Taylor Greene says. I feel like Nelson Mandela’s social media posts wouldn’t be quite so racist. I’m not saying Jesus’ would be, mind you. I bet both of them would immediately grasp that a cognitive test doesn’t measure intelligence, though.
You don’t get any more Christlike than MAGA, that’s for sure. For He did circulate amongst His followers the likeness of the daughter of the judge in His porn star hush money case, that they might menace her with hammers and bear spray and perhaps the odd nail gun.
No riot this time, which is great for all sorts of reasons. The more headlines like “Lone MAGA supporter awaits Trump in New York, fears antifa” the better. (I had to work that one in because it’s perfect and I love it. Say it out loud. Honor the comma. Really linger.)
Marj was on 60 Minutes, by the way, which I guess means she’s normalized now. I dunno, I’m not sure how normal you can make someone who rants about Jewish space lasers, but it’s something else to be mad about, if you’re hard up for **** to be mad about.
9 Apr 2023 12:42 am
Hmmm... wonder when it'll finally dawn upon these morons that I don't even bother to read their drive-by **** posts, much less respond to them. Ah well, moving right along...
Yeah, Exactly Like Jesus - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
Word on the street is, Kevin McCarthy can’t corral his feral caucus ahead of the approaching debt ceiling collision, but that’s unpossible, Kevin am the leaderest leader who ever led!
In Tennessee, the Republican supermajority, which has been on a proto-fascist bender for some time now, expelled a pair of young, Black, Democratic state representatives, for Unconscionable Uppityness in Defense of Children’s Lives, which is not allowed in Tennessee.
Tennessee Republicans appear to’ve bitten off a bit more than they can chew here, so I imagine we’ll be hearing more in days to come. Get ready to be the bad guys in the next wave of books Florida bans, boys!
In addition to getting indicted on 34 felony charges, Donald Trump tried and failed to hire Laura Loomer this week, which is fairly embarrassing. In protest, Loomer handcuffed herself to…something, probably.
Oh, and apparently, DoJ has evidence he personally rifled through the purloined classified docs to pull out the stuff he really wanted, which, sure, probably means the surveillance photos of Mike Pence’s heartrendingly abnormal masturbation breaks in the West Wing powder room, but might be nuclear secrets for all anybody knows.
Desperate to revive his fast-fading presidential hopes, and running out of children’s books about civil rights heroes to ban, Ron DeSantis has apparently decided to lose a few more rounds to Disney. That oughta do the trick. Another excellent plan from the party of excellent plans.
That six week abortion ban he’s cooking up’ll play real well, too, because Wisconsin doesn’t exist, I guess, though if it did exist, there certainly wasn’t an election there this week.
I’d like to thank Daniel Kelly for losing so badly, by which I mean both the 11-point margin and the thumb-suckingly petulant concession speech. You’re a credit to your party, Dan.
Eleven points, in what may be the tightest swing state in the country.
Hey, if these creeps need a few more election cycles to learn this lesson, that’s probably best for everyone involved.
Kansas doesn’t exist either, Ron. You’re doin’ great, kid.
Yeah, Exactly Like Jesus - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
Word on the street is, Kevin McCarthy can’t corral his feral caucus ahead of the approaching debt ceiling collision, but that’s unpossible, Kevin am the leaderest leader who ever led!
In Tennessee, the Republican supermajority, which has been on a proto-fascist bender for some time now, expelled a pair of young, Black, Democratic state representatives, for Unconscionable Uppityness in Defense of Children’s Lives, which is not allowed in Tennessee.
Tennessee Republicans appear to’ve bitten off a bit more than they can chew here, so I imagine we’ll be hearing more in days to come. Get ready to be the bad guys in the next wave of books Florida bans, boys!
In addition to getting indicted on 34 felony charges, Donald Trump tried and failed to hire Laura Loomer this week, which is fairly embarrassing. In protest, Loomer handcuffed herself to…something, probably.
Oh, and apparently, DoJ has evidence he personally rifled through the purloined classified docs to pull out the stuff he really wanted, which, sure, probably means the surveillance photos of Mike Pence’s heartrendingly abnormal masturbation breaks in the West Wing powder room, but might be nuclear secrets for all anybody knows.
Desperate to revive his fast-fading presidential hopes, and running out of children’s books about civil rights heroes to ban, Ron DeSantis has apparently decided to lose a few more rounds to Disney. That oughta do the trick. Another excellent plan from the party of excellent plans.
That six week abortion ban he’s cooking up’ll play real well, too, because Wisconsin doesn’t exist, I guess, though if it did exist, there certainly wasn’t an election there this week.
I’d like to thank Daniel Kelly for losing so badly, by which I mean both the 11-point margin and the thumb-suckingly petulant concession speech. You’re a credit to your party, Dan.
Eleven points, in what may be the tightest swing state in the country.
Hey, if these creeps need a few more election cycles to learn this lesson, that’s probably best for everyone involved.
Kansas doesn’t exist either, Ron. You’re doin’ great, kid.
9 Apr 2023 9:34 am
lol... I used to wonder if it would ever dawn on you that nobody gives about you spam, TROLL... but I gave that up a long time ago... I know it won't do any good but it's still fun to remind you of it though.. a troll with sensitive feelings and a need for safe places, I still can't get over that...B.See » 09 Apr 2023, 12:42 am » wrote: ↑ Hmmm... wonder when it'll finally dawn upon these morons that I don't even bother to read their drive-by **** posts, much less respond to them. Ah well, moving right along...
Yeah, Exactly Like Jesus - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two:
Word on the street is, Kevin McCarthy can’t corral his feral caucus ahead of the approaching debt ceiling collision, but that’s unpossible, Kevin am the leaderest leader who ever led!
In Tennessee, the Republican supermajority, which has been on a proto-fascist bender for some time now, expelled a pair of young, Black, Democratic state representatives, for Unconscionable Uppityness in Defense of Children’s Lives, which is not allowed in Tennessee.
Tennessee Republicans appear to’ve bitten off a bit more than they can chew here, so I imagine we’ll be hearing more in days to come. Get ready to be the bad guys in the next wave of books Florida bans, boys!
In addition to getting indicted on 34 felony charges, Donald Trump tried and failed to hire Laura Loomer this week, which is fairly embarrassing. In protest, Loomer handcuffed herself to…something, probably.
Oh, and apparently, DoJ has evidence he personally rifled through the purloined classified docs to pull out the stuff he really wanted, which, sure, probably means the surveillance photos of Mike Pence’s heartrendingly abnormal masturbation breaks in the West Wing powder room, but might be nuclear secrets for all anybody knows.
Desperate to revive his fast-fading presidential hopes, and running out of children’s books about civil rights heroes to ban, Ron DeSantis has apparently decided to lose a few more rounds to Disney. That oughta do the trick. Another excellent plan from the party of excellent plans.
That six week abortion ban he’s cooking up’ll play real well, too, because Wisconsin doesn’t exist, I guess, though if it did exist, there certainly wasn’t an election there this week.
I’d like to thank Daniel Kelly for losing so badly, by which I mean both the 11-point margin and the thumb-suckingly petulant concession speech. You’re a credit to your party, Dan.
Eleven points, in what may be the tightest swing state in the country.
Hey, if these creeps need a few more election cycles to learn this lesson, that’s probably best for everyone involved.
Kansas doesn’t exist either, Ron. You’re doin’ great, kid.
In memory of Pumpkins
10 Apr 2023 11:37 pm
One more excerpt from last weeks Shower Cap Blog while I muddle thru a few hundred newer articles (besides which, I spend most of my time these days posting elsewhere, where they AREN'T afraid of liberals posting links).
Yeah, Exactly Like Jesus - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part three:
Tommy Tuberville, who can barely **** read, is single-handedly holding up more than 180 nominations at the Department of Defense, because he feels the women serving our country in uniform have too many rights.
Republicans’re all over that women-having-rights thing. You’d never believe this was the same party that had no policy platform whatsoever last presidential election; these days they’re positively overflowing with ideas for new abortion restrictions. They’re really quite creative and industrious when they want to be.
So, Bud Light partnered with a transgender influencer, and a bunch of losers threw that fit they throw when they’re confronted with a world that refuses to pander to their personal prejudices. Yeah, the one where they destroy their own property, and post videos online. I don’t get it either. “Take THAT, thing I paid for!” I’m told it’s some sort of “lib-owning” ritual in their culture. Their stupid, stupid culture.
Anyway, they’re gonna boycott. Which won’t work. Because they’re losers. With no money. That’s how this goes, every single time. Starbucks and Nike and the coolers one and wasn’t it Hershey’s just a couple weeks ago?
This does jeopardize Anheuser-Busch’s planned expansion into the lucrative horse paste market, however.
I see Clarence Thomas spent decades illegally concealing the lavish vacations showered upon him by GOP megadonor Harlan Crow. Golly. Corruption at the highest levels of Republican politics? Gosh. What is the world coming to? Gosh golly gee.
A cackling Steve Bannon unleashed his “chaos agent,” anti-vax halfwit RFK Jr., upon the Democratic presidential primary, and I for one demand no fewer than nine debates with Marianne Williamson. Debate Number Six: What Do Cats Think About?
Yeah, Exactly Like Jesus - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part three:
Tommy Tuberville, who can barely **** read, is single-handedly holding up more than 180 nominations at the Department of Defense, because he feels the women serving our country in uniform have too many rights.
Republicans’re all over that women-having-rights thing. You’d never believe this was the same party that had no policy platform whatsoever last presidential election; these days they’re positively overflowing with ideas for new abortion restrictions. They’re really quite creative and industrious when they want to be.
So, Bud Light partnered with a transgender influencer, and a bunch of losers threw that fit they throw when they’re confronted with a world that refuses to pander to their personal prejudices. Yeah, the one where they destroy their own property, and post videos online. I don’t get it either. “Take THAT, thing I paid for!” I’m told it’s some sort of “lib-owning” ritual in their culture. Their stupid, stupid culture.
Anyway, they’re gonna boycott. Which won’t work. Because they’re losers. With no money. That’s how this goes, every single time. Starbucks and Nike and the coolers one and wasn’t it Hershey’s just a couple weeks ago?
This does jeopardize Anheuser-Busch’s planned expansion into the lucrative horse paste market, however.
I see Clarence Thomas spent decades illegally concealing the lavish vacations showered upon him by GOP megadonor Harlan Crow. Golly. Corruption at the highest levels of Republican politics? Gosh. What is the world coming to? Gosh golly gee.
A cackling Steve Bannon unleashed his “chaos agent,” anti-vax halfwit RFK Jr., upon the Democratic presidential primary, and I for one demand no fewer than nine debates with Marianne Williamson. Debate Number Six: What Do Cats Think About?
15 Apr 2023 7:16 am
You’re Just Jealous Your Own Hitler Collection is Comparatively Unimpressive
showercapblog (dot com) - Friday April 14
excerpts part one:
I’m tired of hearing about inflation and jobs reports, what we need in this country is an insufferability index, measuring the degree to which our quality of life is impacted by the shrieking inanity of the American Right in decline. That number would be off the charts this week.
Trump-appointed U.S. District Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk, citing junk science and authority granted nowhere in actual law, banned the abortion pill mifepristone, because he’d had quite enough of this women-having-bodily-autonomy hooey, thank you very much.
Now, I like having basic human rights removed by Federalist Society weirdos as much as the next fellow, but the electorate has sent no subtle signals since Dobbs. The American public will not passively submit to the revanchist whims of minoritarian zealots bent on **** for its own sake.
Of course, like so much of objective reality, this is proving to be a difficult concept for Republicans to wrap their wee minds around. They can’t quite figure out where this “youth vote problem” came from, but with thought leaders like Scott Walker and Kellyanne Conway on the job, I’m confident they’ll find a steady stream of creative excuses to avoid the obvious.
Poor Tim Scott tied himself in knots, and right when he’s launching what some feel obliged to pretend is a campaign for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination, too.
Mockery aside, Tim doesn’t really need a good answer on abortion, or on anything at all, if we’re honest, given the, ahem, other obstacles he faces in the contest to lead the…y’know…the white nationalist resentment cult.
Actually, I think Texas Congressdolt Tony Gonzalez may’ve hit upon the solution: simply change the subject, and the issue will vanish into the cool night air! Women are flighty creatures, and once they’re restored to their natural station, they’ll be too busy with housework to even think about controlling their own bodies.
Yeah, I bet that works. I bet DeSantistan’s new six-week abortion ban never comes up during the entire presidential campaign, not once, cuz Ron cleverly signed the bill late at night, rather than in a showy, public ceremony. Curses! Outfoxed again, just like Disney!
I dunno. Given the ground he’s already ceding on the pudding issue, I don’t see it happening for DeSantis, though of course, you never really know what Republican primary voters will do, because their brains don’t work.
As predicted, Tennessee Republicans’re feeling a bit of buyer’s remorse over last week’s authoritarian ****. Seems nobody bothered to investigate procedural next steps before sending out invites to their big Excommunicate the Urban Black Guys party,
so Justins Jones and Pearson barely had time to greet their new, national following before returning to work.
In addition to empowering those they sought to sanction, the other thing Tennessee Republicans accomplished was drawing the world’s attention to all the fashy shenanigans they’ve been up to of late. “Oh, um, yeah, we’re basically Hungary now. Tryin’ t’be, anyway!”
They sure had fun with their little expulsion vote, though.
showercapblog (dot com) - Friday April 14
excerpts part one:
I’m tired of hearing about inflation and jobs reports, what we need in this country is an insufferability index, measuring the degree to which our quality of life is impacted by the shrieking inanity of the American Right in decline. That number would be off the charts this week.
Trump-appointed U.S. District Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk, citing junk science and authority granted nowhere in actual law, banned the abortion pill mifepristone, because he’d had quite enough of this women-having-bodily-autonomy hooey, thank you very much.
Now, I like having basic human rights removed by Federalist Society weirdos as much as the next fellow, but the electorate has sent no subtle signals since Dobbs. The American public will not passively submit to the revanchist whims of minoritarian zealots bent on **** for its own sake.
Of course, like so much of objective reality, this is proving to be a difficult concept for Republicans to wrap their wee minds around. They can’t quite figure out where this “youth vote problem” came from, but with thought leaders like Scott Walker and Kellyanne Conway on the job, I’m confident they’ll find a steady stream of creative excuses to avoid the obvious.
Poor Tim Scott tied himself in knots, and right when he’s launching what some feel obliged to pretend is a campaign for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination, too.
Mockery aside, Tim doesn’t really need a good answer on abortion, or on anything at all, if we’re honest, given the, ahem, other obstacles he faces in the contest to lead the…y’know…the white nationalist resentment cult.
Actually, I think Texas Congressdolt Tony Gonzalez may’ve hit upon the solution: simply change the subject, and the issue will vanish into the cool night air! Women are flighty creatures, and once they’re restored to their natural station, they’ll be too busy with housework to even think about controlling their own bodies.
Yeah, I bet that works. I bet DeSantistan’s new six-week abortion ban never comes up during the entire presidential campaign, not once, cuz Ron cleverly signed the bill late at night, rather than in a showy, public ceremony. Curses! Outfoxed again, just like Disney!
I dunno. Given the ground he’s already ceding on the pudding issue, I don’t see it happening for DeSantis, though of course, you never really know what Republican primary voters will do, because their brains don’t work.
As predicted, Tennessee Republicans’re feeling a bit of buyer’s remorse over last week’s authoritarian ****. Seems nobody bothered to investigate procedural next steps before sending out invites to their big Excommunicate the Urban Black Guys party,
so Justins Jones and Pearson barely had time to greet their new, national following before returning to work.
In addition to empowering those they sought to sanction, the other thing Tennessee Republicans accomplished was drawing the world’s attention to all the fashy shenanigans they’ve been up to of late. “Oh, um, yeah, we’re basically Hungary now. Tryin’ t’be, anyway!”
They sure had fun with their little expulsion vote, though.
15 Apr 2023 7:24 am
Excerpts part one to... I don't know but it's a lot...B.See » 15 Apr 2023, 7:16 am » wrote: ↑ You’re Just Jealous Your Own Hitler Collection is Comparatively Unimpressive
showercapblog (dot com) - Friday April 14
excerpts part one:
I’m tired of hearing about inflation and jobs reports, what we need in this country is an insufferability index, measuring the degree to which our quality of life is impacted by the shrieking inanity of the American Right in decline. That number would be off the charts this week.
Trump-appointed U.S. District Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk, citing junk science and authority granted nowhere in actual law, banned the abortion pill mifepristone, because he’d had quite enough of this women-having-bodily-autonomy hooey, thank you very much.
Now, I like having basic human rights removed by Federalist Society weirdos as much as the next fellow, but the electorate has sent no subtle signals since Dobbs. The American public will not passively submit to the revanchist whims of minoritarian zealots bent on **** for its own sake.
Of course, like so much of objective reality, this is proving to be a difficult concept for Republicans to wrap their wee minds around. They can’t quite figure out where this “youth vote problem” came from, but with thought leaders like Scott Walker and Kellyanne Conway on the job, I’m confident they’ll find a steady stream of creative excuses to avoid the obvious.
Poor Tim Scott tied himself in knots, and right when he’s launching what some feel obliged to pretend is a campaign for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination, too. Mockery aside, Tim doesn’t really need a good answer on abortion, or on anything at all, if we’re honest, given the, ahem, other obstacles he faces in the contest to lead the…y’know…the white nationalist resentment cult.
Actually, I think Texas Congressdolt Tony Gonzalez may’ve hit upon the solution: simply change the subject, and the issue will vanish into the cool night air! Women are flighty creatures, and once they’re restored to their natural station, they’ll be too busy with housework to even think about controlling their own bodies.
Yeah, I bet that works. I bet DeSantistan’s new six-week abortion ban never comes up during the entire presidential campaign, not once, cuz Ron cleverly signed the bill late at night, rather than in a showy, public ceremony. Curses! Outfoxed again, just like Disney!
I dunno. Given the ground he’s already ceding on the pudding issue, I don’t see it happening for DeSantis, though of course, you never really know what Republican primary voters will do, because their brains don’t work.
As predicted, Tennessee Republicans’re feeling a bit of buyer’s remorse over last week’s authoritarian ****. Seems nobody bothered to investigate procedural next steps before sending out invites to their big Excommunicate the Urban Black Guys party, so Justins Jones and Pearson barely had time to greet their new, national following before returning to work.
In addition to empowering those they sought to sanction, the other thing Tennessee Republicans accomplished was drawing the world’s attention to all the fashy shenanigans they’ve been up to of late. “Oh, um, yeah, we’re basically Hungary now. Tryin’ t’be, anyway!”
They sure had fun with their little expulsion vote, though.
No one gives a ****..
In memory of Pumpkins
22 Apr 2023 5:35 am
Looks like no new Showercap Blog for this Friday, though if the Cap's anything like me he'd gotten snowed under with a lot of tax filing **** and said fk it to everything else for the meanwhile. But I'd still managed to collect a headline or two (here and there) anyway. So for now, a third installment from his April 14th blog:
You’re Just Jealous Your Own Hitler Collection is Comparatively Unimpressive
showercapblog (dot com) - Friday April 14
excerpts part two:
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t have to defend a plutocrat’s collection of Hitler memorabilia just because he bought Clarence Thomas’ mom’s house. Owning Hitler paintings is pretty **** up, regardless of any Supreme Court Justices whose lavish lifestyles you may or may not be corruptly financing.
Another thing you don’t have to say out loud is that you think 12-year-olds should be allowed to marry.
Meet Missouri State Senator Mike Moon, by the way. Oh, and “Moon’s support of the practice resurfaced during a committee hearing on a bill introduced by Moon that would ban gender-affirming care for transgender children,” which goes without saying, I suppose.
Missouri Republicans’re also working to defund libraries statewide, because it’s quicker than pulling the books about Black people off the shelves individually.
Surprise, surprise, Tucker Carlson’s tougher in his texts than in real life, where he submissively offered his platform up to the doddering **** he once called “a demonic force, a destroyer,” to rant about all his favorite dictators.
And sure, that was pretty emasculating, but nothing a few hours under the ol’ scrotum tanning machine couldn’t fix. Tucker was back on his feet in no time, lionizing the 21-year-old jackass who perpetrated the most damaging national security breach in years to impress a handful of asshats in a Discord chat.
(Marjorie Taylor Greene is also a fan, no doubt believing Jack Teixeira will upload the Jewish space laser schematics as soon as he finds a spare moment.)
Fox News was sanctioned (yay, incidentally) for withholding evidence in the Dominion case, another gleaming example of that organization’s general trustworthiness.
Greg Abbott coulda sworn it was legal in Texas to gun Black Lives Matter protesters down in the street, and he’ll get right on that next legislative session, but for now, he wants the world to know he’s working as quickly as humanly possible to turn a convicted murderer loose.
As you’d imagine, a wingnut like Abbott doesn’t hand out a ton of pardons, but obviously this dude is a special case, given his proudly stated racism. Oh, and his fantasies about killing protesters. Which are documented. And specific. “Might have to kill a few people on my way to work,” that sort of thing.
You’re Just Jealous Your Own Hitler Collection is Comparatively Unimpressive
showercapblog (dot com) - Friday April 14
excerpts part two:
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t have to defend a plutocrat’s collection of Hitler memorabilia just because he bought Clarence Thomas’ mom’s house. Owning Hitler paintings is pretty **** up, regardless of any Supreme Court Justices whose lavish lifestyles you may or may not be corruptly financing.
Another thing you don’t have to say out loud is that you think 12-year-olds should be allowed to marry.
Meet Missouri State Senator Mike Moon, by the way. Oh, and “Moon’s support of the practice resurfaced during a committee hearing on a bill introduced by Moon that would ban gender-affirming care for transgender children,” which goes without saying, I suppose.
Missouri Republicans’re also working to defund libraries statewide, because it’s quicker than pulling the books about Black people off the shelves individually.
Surprise, surprise, Tucker Carlson’s tougher in his texts than in real life, where he submissively offered his platform up to the doddering **** he once called “a demonic force, a destroyer,” to rant about all his favorite dictators.
And sure, that was pretty emasculating, but nothing a few hours under the ol’ scrotum tanning machine couldn’t fix. Tucker was back on his feet in no time, lionizing the 21-year-old jackass who perpetrated the most damaging national security breach in years to impress a handful of asshats in a Discord chat.
(Marjorie Taylor Greene is also a fan, no doubt believing Jack Teixeira will upload the Jewish space laser schematics as soon as he finds a spare moment.)
Fox News was sanctioned (yay, incidentally) for withholding evidence in the Dominion case, another gleaming example of that organization’s general trustworthiness.
Greg Abbott coulda sworn it was legal in Texas to gun Black Lives Matter protesters down in the street, and he’ll get right on that next legislative session, but for now, he wants the world to know he’s working as quickly as humanly possible to turn a convicted murderer loose.
As you’d imagine, a wingnut like Abbott doesn’t hand out a ton of pardons, but obviously this dude is a special case, given his proudly stated racism. Oh, and his fantasies about killing protesters. Which are documented. And specific. “Might have to kill a few people on my way to work,” that sort of thing.
29 Apr 2023 1:23 am
The One Where Tucker Carlson Gets Fired - showercapblog (dot com)
Friday, April 28th, 2023
excerpt part one:
I have a favorite push notification now. I think it’s the nicest thing my phone has ever done for me, actually. “What’s that you say, phone? Tucker Carlson got fired? Goodness me, what a wonderful thing to’ve happened, and what a wonderful thing to know!” and I skipped all the way home.
And yeah, they’ll replace him with someone worse, possibly some lab-grown fusion of Gutfeld and Watters DNA, marinated overnight in Pirro’s boxed wine dregs, and yeah, he’s gonna keep on driving people violently insane, and making a ton of **** money doing it. Such is the state of our fallen world. But gone forever is that sweet, sweet 8 p.m. time slot on Fox, bar none the choicest real estate available anywhere in the multi-billion-dollar rube indoctrination economy.
For now, I will drink to any night without Tucker Carlson on television. I don’t know if there’s any less hate in the world tonight, but at least it’s not being distributed quite so efficiently.
Also, Fox’s ratings took a massive hit in the absence of their star softboi, perhaps the beginning of the very audience exodus they feared in the Dominion lawsuit texts that brought Tucker down. Basically, a massive lose/lose situation for the very worst people alive. I confess I’m enjoying it. I wonder who gets custody of the January 6th footage?
I feel like I should buy a voting machine, to express gratitude, but I don’t have room in my place. Plus you get bamboo fibers all over everything.
Everybody liked the idea of Ron DeSantis, but the minute you give him even a cursory closer look, you can’t help but go, “oh, heavens no, this man absolutely sucks.” And it’s funny watching it happen, y’know?
Like, the way Ron DeSantis behaves is objectively embarrassing. More so when we remember every single **** thing he does is part of a meticulously crafted plan to present himself to the public as a potential President.
“I’M GONNA BUILD A PRISON NEXT TO DISNEY WORLD BECAUSE THEY DON’T HATE GAY PEOPLE ENOUGH!” Well, I don’t think it’ll fit on a red ballcap, Ron. Enjoy getting sued, though.
It’s especially funny because it’s working so badly. Ron is on his I Am A Very Fancy Man Indeed tour, and the second he hit Washington, a bunch of House Republicans from his home state endorsed the Dotard. Oof. Ron DeSantis is diet, caffeine free Ted Cruz.
Finding an alternative to the grunting weirdo who’s autographing insurrection artifacts for convicted Capitol rioters on the campaign trail shouldn’t be too terrifically difficult, but the talent pool in the GOP has scummed over.
Friday, April 28th, 2023
excerpt part one:
I have a favorite push notification now. I think it’s the nicest thing my phone has ever done for me, actually. “What’s that you say, phone? Tucker Carlson got fired? Goodness me, what a wonderful thing to’ve happened, and what a wonderful thing to know!” and I skipped all the way home.
And yeah, they’ll replace him with someone worse, possibly some lab-grown fusion of Gutfeld and Watters DNA, marinated overnight in Pirro’s boxed wine dregs, and yeah, he’s gonna keep on driving people violently insane, and making a ton of **** money doing it. Such is the state of our fallen world. But gone forever is that sweet, sweet 8 p.m. time slot on Fox, bar none the choicest real estate available anywhere in the multi-billion-dollar rube indoctrination economy.
For now, I will drink to any night without Tucker Carlson on television. I don’t know if there’s any less hate in the world tonight, but at least it’s not being distributed quite so efficiently.
Also, Fox’s ratings took a massive hit in the absence of their star softboi, perhaps the beginning of the very audience exodus they feared in the Dominion lawsuit texts that brought Tucker down. Basically, a massive lose/lose situation for the very worst people alive. I confess I’m enjoying it. I wonder who gets custody of the January 6th footage?
I feel like I should buy a voting machine, to express gratitude, but I don’t have room in my place. Plus you get bamboo fibers all over everything.
Everybody liked the idea of Ron DeSantis, but the minute you give him even a cursory closer look, you can’t help but go, “oh, heavens no, this man absolutely sucks.” And it’s funny watching it happen, y’know?
Like, the way Ron DeSantis behaves is objectively embarrassing. More so when we remember every single **** thing he does is part of a meticulously crafted plan to present himself to the public as a potential President.
“I’M GONNA BUILD A PRISON NEXT TO DISNEY WORLD BECAUSE THEY DON’T HATE GAY PEOPLE ENOUGH!” Well, I don’t think it’ll fit on a red ballcap, Ron. Enjoy getting sued, though.
It’s especially funny because it’s working so badly. Ron is on his I Am A Very Fancy Man Indeed tour, and the second he hit Washington, a bunch of House Republicans from his home state endorsed the Dotard. Oof. Ron DeSantis is diet, caffeine free Ted Cruz.
Finding an alternative to the grunting weirdo who’s autographing insurrection artifacts for convicted Capitol rioters on the campaign trail shouldn’t be too terrifically difficult, but the talent pool in the GOP has scummed over.
6 May 2023 5:56 am
The One Where Tucker Carlson Gets Fired showercapblog
excerpts part two:
I assume everyone’s having a nice time watching Kevin McCarthy fumble with the debt ceiling like an incel with the bra clasp on a new waifu pillow. Will America stupid the global economy to death? Tune in this summer, I guess.
An emerging genre I’m enjoying is the Well, You Wanted the Attention, Sparky profile of Kevin’s bumbling chief investigator, Jim Jordan. “Over eight terms in the House, Mr. Jordan, who served for a decade in Ohio’s Statehouse before winning election to Congress, has not been the lead sponsor of a single bill that became law.”
At a certain point, I think we have to start looking at the Right’s propensity for rewarding failure in evolutionary terms. People still take ivermectin, you know.
The Jewish space laser lady says adoptive parents aren’t real. (Fact check: they are!) I hadn’t heard that one before, is that a thing, or is this just her reflexive ****? Elevating Marj was definitely one of Kevin’s leaderier bits of leadership.
Paul Gosar promoted a Holocaust-denying website, but only because they praised his anti-Semitism, you see.
Lauren Boebert called on “patriots” to start more fights on airplanes. Great advice. Pitch a mighty fit, then **** yourself in the seat they duct-tape you to while you await arrest. That’ll show ‘em.
They’re calling in bomb threats to Budweiser factories now. Cult45 really hates trans people, folks. Wingnut boycotts never work, but the little **** actually moved the needle with this one, because they really, really, really hate trans people.
The Republican Party isn’t doing a hell of a lot right now, beyond passing as much anti-trans legislation as they can. You never hear about any “Republican supermajority solves long-standing problem, improves constituents’ lives” stories, just ever more elaborate restrictions on transgender care and drag shows and women’s bodies. Yeah, I wonder where that red wave went.
Montana Republicans ritually cast Zooey Zephyr, the state’s first transgender lawmaker, from the statehouse floor, because conservatives’re sick n’ dang tired of this newfangled tolerating-the-physical-presence-of-minorities thing.
excerpts part two:
I assume everyone’s having a nice time watching Kevin McCarthy fumble with the debt ceiling like an incel with the bra clasp on a new waifu pillow. Will America stupid the global economy to death? Tune in this summer, I guess.
An emerging genre I’m enjoying is the Well, You Wanted the Attention, Sparky profile of Kevin’s bumbling chief investigator, Jim Jordan. “Over eight terms in the House, Mr. Jordan, who served for a decade in Ohio’s Statehouse before winning election to Congress, has not been the lead sponsor of a single bill that became law.”
At a certain point, I think we have to start looking at the Right’s propensity for rewarding failure in evolutionary terms. People still take ivermectin, you know.
The Jewish space laser lady says adoptive parents aren’t real. (Fact check: they are!) I hadn’t heard that one before, is that a thing, or is this just her reflexive ****? Elevating Marj was definitely one of Kevin’s leaderier bits of leadership.
Paul Gosar promoted a Holocaust-denying website, but only because they praised his anti-Semitism, you see.
Lauren Boebert called on “patriots” to start more fights on airplanes. Great advice. Pitch a mighty fit, then **** yourself in the seat they duct-tape you to while you await arrest. That’ll show ‘em.
They’re calling in bomb threats to Budweiser factories now. Cult45 really hates trans people, folks. Wingnut boycotts never work, but the little **** actually moved the needle with this one, because they really, really, really hate trans people.
The Republican Party isn’t doing a hell of a lot right now, beyond passing as much anti-trans legislation as they can. You never hear about any “Republican supermajority solves long-standing problem, improves constituents’ lives” stories, just ever more elaborate restrictions on transgender care and drag shows and women’s bodies. Yeah, I wonder where that red wave went.
Montana Republicans ritually cast Zooey Zephyr, the state’s first transgender lawmaker, from the statehouse floor, because conservatives’re sick n’ dang tired of this newfangled tolerating-the-physical-presence-of-minorities thing.
6 May 2023 6:15 am
It feels like we have been here before...
In memory of Pumpkins
6 May 2023 6:28 pm
^^^ wouldn't know. I post a lot of stuff in many places. If I don't see it her, I figure I haven't.
BREAKING: Tucker Texts Reveal Hidden, Secret, Completely Unsuspected RACISM
Friday, May 5th, 2023 showercapblog
excerpts part one:
Seismic news this week, as leaked texts suggest recently defenestrated telefascist Tucker Carlson may hold some, shall we say “problematic” views on race.
To think, were it not for these texts, the poor, misled Murdoch family might ne’er have learned of the secret bigot in their midst.
They hide among us, you know. Jesse Watters knows ‘em when he sees ‘em, and if you can’t trust Jesse Watters, who can you trust?
Anyway, Fox’s feral audience remains in open revolt. I’m surprised they didn’t tear Kilmeade apart with their teeth, honestly. WANT TUCK-TUCK! WANT TUCK-TUCK OR NO WATCH WATCH! BRING TUCK-TUCK BACK RIGHT NOW! All while **** themselves and buying NFTs, I assume.
The race to replace the host of Fox’s prime time White Power Hour has already devolved into precisely the sort of competitive hate-mongering you’d expect, as the various shrieking heads vie for the attention of cruelty addicts. It’s been pretty gross.
But oh what a treat, Tucker Carlson’s thoughts on “how white men fight.” We’ve seen how white men fight, Tucker. Thanks to you. White men fight with nail guns. With their cars. With “stun guns, pepper spray, baseball bats and flagpoles wielded as clubs.” During the pandemic, every now and then, one of ‘em would cough on somebody.
And of course, whenever possible, they “fight” with AR-15s.
Big week for the AR-15, wasn’t it? “A man using an AR-15-style weapon shot and killed five people Friday, including an 8-year-old — an angry response to the neighbors’ request that he stop shooting in his yard while their baby was trying to sleep.”
Look, the Second Amendment is unambiguous here. My right to play with my murder toy clearly outweighs your baby’s right to sleep, and your attempt to violate my rights activates my right to slaughter your entire family. Why, James Madison himself shot up the nation’s very first Wendy’s, simply because his fries were cold.
That’s why Matt Gaetz wants a national Stand Your Ground law, because the next generation of Rittenhouse wannabes must be allowed to act out their violent fantasies, free from fear of incarceration. It’s just common sense.
BREAKING: Tucker Texts Reveal Hidden, Secret, Completely Unsuspected RACISM
Friday, May 5th, 2023 showercapblog
excerpts part one:
Seismic news this week, as leaked texts suggest recently defenestrated telefascist Tucker Carlson may hold some, shall we say “problematic” views on race.
To think, were it not for these texts, the poor, misled Murdoch family might ne’er have learned of the secret bigot in their midst.
They hide among us, you know. Jesse Watters knows ‘em when he sees ‘em, and if you can’t trust Jesse Watters, who can you trust?
Anyway, Fox’s feral audience remains in open revolt. I’m surprised they didn’t tear Kilmeade apart with their teeth, honestly. WANT TUCK-TUCK! WANT TUCK-TUCK OR NO WATCH WATCH! BRING TUCK-TUCK BACK RIGHT NOW! All while **** themselves and buying NFTs, I assume.
The race to replace the host of Fox’s prime time White Power Hour has already devolved into precisely the sort of competitive hate-mongering you’d expect, as the various shrieking heads vie for the attention of cruelty addicts. It’s been pretty gross.
But oh what a treat, Tucker Carlson’s thoughts on “how white men fight.” We’ve seen how white men fight, Tucker. Thanks to you. White men fight with nail guns. With their cars. With “stun guns, pepper spray, baseball bats and flagpoles wielded as clubs.” During the pandemic, every now and then, one of ‘em would cough on somebody.
And of course, whenever possible, they “fight” with AR-15s.
Big week for the AR-15, wasn’t it? “A man using an AR-15-style weapon shot and killed five people Friday, including an 8-year-old — an angry response to the neighbors’ request that he stop shooting in his yard while their baby was trying to sleep.”
Look, the Second Amendment is unambiguous here. My right to play with my murder toy clearly outweighs your baby’s right to sleep, and your attempt to violate my rights activates my right to slaughter your entire family. Why, James Madison himself shot up the nation’s very first Wendy’s, simply because his fries were cold.
That’s why Matt Gaetz wants a national Stand Your Ground law, because the next generation of Rittenhouse wannabes must be allowed to act out their violent fantasies, free from fear of incarceration. It’s just common sense.
Who is online
In total there are 1700 users online :: 18 registered, 16 bots, and 1666 guests
Registered users: Vegas, Johnny You, Mrkelly, Blackvegetable, Buck Naked, righteous, ConservativeWave, NEILCAR, *GHETTO BLASTER, jerra b, murdock, LowIQTrash, Sumela, Funny Guy, Cannonpointer, golfboy, Deezer Shoove, PoliticalPopUp
Bots: facebookexternalhit, coccocbot, proximic, CriteoBot, Mediapartners-Google, app.hypefactors.com, Applebot, YandexBot, ADmantX, LCC, Googlebot, semantic-visions.com, Feedfetcher-Google, linkfluence.com, curl/7, bingbot