Liberal Forum

Skans » 07 Sep 2023, 7:55 am » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 7:55 am

So, the take-away is that parents/adults tend to already know what happened, but will resist any interference which tends NOT to ignore what happened.

Probably a bit of shame on their part. I am not sure what they could have done differently. However, they probably feel that they failed and so do not want someone rubbing salt in their wounds. I was not quite so forgiving or rational at the time. In retrospect, this is probably where I got my affinity for angry/depressing rock music. 

As for the pedophile, he simply wisened up and changed his game. Instead of little boys, he shifted towards younger women that all fit a certain type. Young (15 to 20), very thin, usually meek and mild in attitude, and decidedly un-feminine in appearance (no hips and no breasts). At present, he is homeless and has burned all of his bridges. The charm has worn off. 
 

roadkill » 07 Sep 2023, 11:12 am » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 11:12 am

Do I need to use sign language too?

nope, ypu just have to say you disapprove. 

You still haven’t condemned it, closeted pedophile. 

ROG62 » 07 Sep 2023, 9:23 am » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 9:23 am

the victims probably didn't feel shame as they may have thought the behavior was normal depending upon age and awareness...with my MIL, it didn't rear its ugly head until she was in her 50's...word is the vics stop maturing at the age of abuse, which I believe holds true as I've seen certain things my MIL does that confirms it...

. 

Every situation is different. As for the vics stop maturing.. some truth to that. There is nothing that messes a person up quite like this. Take this as an example..

Situation A.. Dad is a drunk and beats up on you. You come to school with bruises. No real shame in admitting this in the open
Situation B... Dad/coach/brother takes you into the dark closet and .... (fill in the rest), there is a shame involved (even if it is not your fault) and so the vics will clam up in some way. This is especially true with male vics. A small part of you gets put back on the shelf away from you and therefore is not left out in the open to grow and mature. 

Pastafarian » 07 Sep 2023, 12:08 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 12:08 pm

nope, ypu just have to say you disapprove. 

You still haven’t condemned it, closeted pedophile.

I disapprove...how about you?   

impartialobserver » 07 Sep 2023, 12:04 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 12:04 pm

Probably a bit of shame on their part. I am not sure what they could have done differently. However, they probably feel that they failed and so do not want someone rubbing salt in their wounds. I was not quite so forgiving or rational at the time. In retrospect, this is probably where I got my affinity for angry/depressing rock music. 

As for the pedophile, he simply wisened up and changed his game. Instead of little boys, he shifted towards younger women that all fit a certain type. Young (15 to 20), very thin, usually meek and mild in attitude, and decidedly un-feminine in appearance (no hips and no breasts). At present, he is homeless and has burned all of his bridges. The charm has worn off.

As I read your account, I am reminded by an old Jethro Tull song, Aqualung:
Sitting on a park bench
Eying little girls with bad intent

Snot's running down his nose
Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes
Hey, Aqualung

Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run 

Skans » 07 Sep 2023, 12:45 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 12:45 pm

As I read your account, I am reminded by an old Jethro Tull song, Aqualung:
Sitting on a park bench
Eying little girls with bad intent

Snot's running down his nose
Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes
Hey, Aqualung

Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run 

When it came to the ladies.. that summer messed me up bad. This song is a bit too on point. I would watch them from a distance but never make any moves. I could not have anyone finding out about this. Still, to this day no one (except myself and him) knows the terrible details of it. If I was to get too comfortable with someone and let this secret out.. they would lose all respect for me and so I just stayed away. 

impartialobserver » 07 Sep 2023, 12:50 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 12:50 pm

When it came to the ladies.. that summer messed me up bad. This song is a bit too on point. I would watch them from a distance but never make any moves. I could not have anyone finding out about this. Still, to this day no one (except myself and him) knows the terrible details of it. If I was to get too comfortable with someone and let this secret out.. they would lose all respect for me and so I just stayed away.
 

For sure, that is some bad **** for you to have to go through.  As for mentioning an old Ian Anderson song, I was thinking of the pedophile you described and what became of him. Somehow, you still managed to get your life on track.  You were able to create a good life for yourself and your family.  Perhaps it is best to leave the really bad **** in the past.
 
 

Skans » 07 Sep 2023, 1:01 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 1:01 pm

For sure, that is some bad **** for you to have to go through.  Somehow, you still managed to get your life on track.  You were able to create a good life for yourself and your family.  Perhaps it is best to leave the really bad **** in the past.

Not trusting folks by default is the primary way that this stunts your growth as a person. It is difficult to have strong relationships if you are always keeping folks at a distance. Those who suffer the abuse long enough for it to feel "normal" (yes, feel free to gag), will revert back to it because it is the known. 

As for what society can do... I would be in support of a policy/law that says that upon a second conviction of child sexual abuse, the person is put to death. Harsh and unrealistic but emotions get the best of you sometimes. 

 

impartialobserver » 07 Sep 2023, 1:09 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 1:09 pm

Not trusting folks by default is the primary way that this stunts your growth as a person. It is difficult to have strong relationships if you are always keeping folks at a distance. Those who suffer the abuse long enough for it to feel "normal" (yes, feel free to gag), will revert back to it because it is the known.

No gagging here. I'm actually giving a lot of thought to what you write; trying to learn from it.  When you say "will revert back to it", I'm not quite sure what you mean.  Do you mean revert back to keeping folks at a distance?  I think that's what you are saying.

As for what society can do... I would be in support of a policy/law that says that upon a second conviction of child sexual abuse, the person is put to death. Harsh and unrealistic but emotions get the best of you sometimes.

While I would be in favor if this, I don't think it would stop someone with the compulsion to molest children.  It's sort of like saying "if you breath, we're going to kill you".  I would be more in favor of combined psycho-surgery and castration.

Pastafarian » 07 Sep 2023, 10:55 am » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 10:55 am

Didn’t you just state that the abused children you know of probably don’t know what happened to them? Pretty sure you wrote this.

no, but you just did...
 

Pastafarian » 07 Sep 2023, 10:43 am » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 10:43 am

They aren’t teaching 5 yo blowjobs. But they are teaching it to 10 yo. 

Inappropriate touching needs visual aids, no? Should the teacher violate the child to show them? I’d say that goes over the line more than a visual aid does. 

Times change and so do curriculums to fit the times.

Seriously, what's the point of a 10yo learning what a blowjob is?

no, a child will understand 100% of the time about inappropriate touching...w/o the visual aid...

there is nothing different warranting changing the curriculum...
 

Skans » 07 Sep 2023, 1:44 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 1:44 pm

No gagging here. I'm actually giving a lot of thought to what you write; trying to learn from it.  When you say "will revert back to it", I'm not quite sure what you mean.  Do you mean revert back to keeping folks at a distance?  I think that's what you are saying.

While I would be in favor if this, I don't think it would stop someone with the compulsion to molest children.  It's sort of like saying "if you breath, we're going to kill you".  I would be more in favor of combined psycho-surgery and castration.

"revert back to it"... Ok, this is a two-fold item. First, they revert back to always keeping folks at a distance. One clue that someone is doing this is that they find the smallest of things to get frustrated about. It is easier (not better) to push them away and be back in the known comfort zone than to deal with the frustrating (but possibly beneficial) ways of someone else. The second way that this is meant is that they become the abuser themselves. Seems so counterintuitive. It caused you such pain and discomfort. However, if it occurs long enough the abuse becomes the known and healthy relationships the unknown. 

It is my unscientific belief that once someone has the compulsion, it never goes away. The brother that I so revile admitted this one night. I pretended to be ok with the past and kept feeding him beer and shots. He said that he gets off on hairless genitals and the other partner expressing pain/discomfort. 
 

impartialobserver » 07 Sep 2023, 3:48 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 3:48 pm

"revert back to it"... Ok, this is a two-fold item. First, they revert back to always keeping folks at a distance. One clue that someone is doing this is that they find the smallest of things to get frustrated about. It is easier (not better) to push them away and be back in the known comfort zone than to deal with the frustrating (but possibly beneficial) ways of someone else. The second way that this is meant is that they become the abuser themselves. Seems so counterintuitive. It caused you such pain and discomfort. However, if it occurs long enough the abuse becomes the known and healthy relationships the unknown. 

It is my unscientific belief that once someone has the compulsion, it never goes away. The brother that I so revile admitted this one night. I pretended to be ok with the past and kept feeding him beer and shots. He said that he gets off on hairless genitals and the other partner expressing pain/discomfort.

It does seem counterintuitive, and its hard for me to wrap my head around it.  Here's the only way I can describe it from the perspective of someone who has never been abused or even exposed to abuse.  Its like there is this perfectly hidden doorway that you would never normally know was there.  Sexual abuse not only reveals the location of the hidden door, but unlocks that doorway which leads down a hallway of an entirely different kind of existence.
 

Back to the topic,

When I was in school, we had sex ed. It was 2 hours on an afternoon in may and that was it. It was more like human anatomy. They detailed the female anatomy and what menstruation is and some very rough details about pregnancy. Was there a rash of teenage pregnancies? No. Of course, there were a few later on in high school but only 2 that I was aware of. I do not see the need for anything more comprehensive.

Skans » 07 Sep 2023, 4:05 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 4:05 pm

It does seem counterintuitive, and its hard for me to wrap my head around it.  Here's the only way I can describe it from the perspective of someone who has never been abused or even exposed to abuse.  Its like there is this perfectly hidden doorway that you would never normally know was there.  Sexual abuse not only reveals the location of the hidden door, but unlocks that doorway which leads down a hallway of an entirely different kind of existence.

Fair enough. It does change a person permanently. Some have said using oxycontin rewires the brain when it comes to the pleasure center. I would say that child sexual abuse rewires your emotional center if it occurs long enough (hence the hidden door). Besides trust issues, it changes how you view the sex act itself. 

Pastafarian » 07 Sep 2023, 12:08 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 12:08 pm

nope, ypu just have to say you disapprove. 

You still haven’t condemned it, closeted pedophile. 

What does condemning do when everyone never quits protecting reasonable doubt about how living actually happens evolving as timed apart genetic results adapting timed apart here as ancestrally separated now leaving only 5 generation gaps present never same ancestors added twice.

Nothing stays same form as arrived, so where do specific results go once conceived into evolving forward here always changing details like tomorrow never arrived each rotation of the planet, changing seasons, annual repeats, every generation gap regardless species, ancestral lineage, geographical time geologically here, in geometric numbers the whole is always equal to total sum present.

I am tired of debating possibilities life isn't self evident and all the facts of what people historically choose to believe takes precedence over how evolving actually works now. Everyone always agrees to disagree, then goes around trying to undo what anyone else does on their own using psychological class warfare 24/7 on moral grounds, legal precedence, ethical practices, social consensus, developing a social conscience of "We" are better than anyone not complying to humanity's greater good scenario protecting tomorrows for each great great grandchild born today.

ROG62 » 07 Sep 2023, 3:34 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 3:34 pm

Seriously, what's the point of a 10yo learning what a blowjob is?

no, a child will understand 100% of the time about inappropriate touching...w/o the visual aid...

there is nothing different warranting changing the curriculum...

The point is bcuz pedos are more abundant and more open than ever, a child must learn to protect themselves. 

Children are also taught how to protect themselves and to look for red flags when approached by strangers and people they know. 
 

Pastafarian » 08 Sep 2023, 6:38 am » wrote: ↑

08 Sep 2023, 6:38 am

The point is bcuz pedos are more abundant and more open than ever, a child must learn to protect themselves. 

Children are also taught how to protect themselves and to look for red flags when approached by strangers and people they know.

Seriously, what's the point of a 10yo learning what a blowjob is?

impartialobserver » 07 Sep 2023, 1:09 pm » wrote: ↑

07 Sep 2023, 1:09 pm

Not trusting folks by default is the primary way that this stunts your growth as a person. It is difficult to have strong relationships if you are always keeping folks at a distance. Those who suffer the abuse long enough for it to feel "normal" (yes, feel free to gag), will revert back to it because it is the known. 

As for what society can do... I would be in support of a policy/law that says that upon a second conviction of child sexual abuse, the person is put to death. Harsh and unrealistic but emotions get the best of you sometimes.

death would be better than a double lobotomy...less tax dollars spent...

ROG62 » 08 Sep 2023, 6:50 am » wrote: ↑

08 Sep 2023, 6:50 am

Seriously, what's the point of a 10yo learning what a blowjob is?

I just told you.