I'm glad you find this so funny. BTW you may want to contact your attorney.
"Ooh hoo hoo! You said you might SEND AN EMAIL! Waaah!
I know it would have contained no threat, and you never did send any email, but I FEEL THREATENED!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
And now I'm going to SUE YOU! But THAT threat is OK, because.....because..... I'M MAD AT YOU!"