WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources in the nation's capital, Senate Democrats have managed to delay their confirmation vote on Kash Patel one week, to give the FBI more time to finish shredding all their documents.
"There's a lot to shred," said one anonymous source. "It's just standard procedure. "We're, um, just making sure the place is nice and, um, clean for FBI Director Patel. We're really excited to meet him. We don't have anything to hide or anything, we just need another week or so. no big deal."