4 Oct 2025 3:18 pm
Steve Martin: And now that you’ve been using the product, how have you found it?
Dave Marcus: Well, Steve.. I’ve found I have a lovelier, more luxurious, softer penis than I ever had with other beauty creams, probably because it’s the first beauty lotion made especially for the johnson. I’ll tell you – if I could afford it, I would use your cream 24 hours a day.
Steve Martin: And, is your wife more attracted to you now that you’ve been using my cream?
Dave Marcus: Well, Steve, my wife recently left me, But before she did, she told me, “I hope you and your Steve Martin’s Beauty Cream will be very happy.
Steve Martin: Well, that’s a lovely tribute! Thank you, Dave. Steve Martin’s All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream.. New Formula. You know it’s safe. Why? Because it’s tested on animals. And, if you order by mail, don’t worry – it’s shipped in a plain brown wrapper with the words “Not Penis Cream” stamped all over it in big red letters. So pick up a jar today, and remember, it’s the only cream with a picture of my penis on it!
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SNL Transcripts
Dave Marcus: Well, Steve.. I’ve found I have a lovelier, more luxurious, softer penis than I ever had with other beauty creams, probably because it’s the first beauty lotion made especially for the johnson. I’ll tell you – if I could afford it, I would use your cream 24 hours a day.
Steve Martin: And, is your wife more attracted to you now that you’ve been using my cream?
Dave Marcus: Well, Steve, my wife recently left me, But before she did, she told me, “I hope you and your Steve Martin’s Beauty Cream will be very happy.
Steve Martin: Well, that’s a lovely tribute! Thank you, Dave. Steve Martin’s All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream.. New Formula. You know it’s safe. Why? Because it’s tested on animals. And, if you order by mail, don’t worry – it’s shipped in a plain brown wrapper with the words “Not Penis Cream” stamped all over it in big red letters. So pick up a jar today, and remember, it’s the only cream with a picture of my penis on it!
[ fade ]
SNL Transcripts