Liberal Forum

 About a month ago, while we were discussing wedding costs, I brought up a prenup. Not in a cold or controlling way I just wanted to protect the life I’ve worked hard to build. I was upfront that I’d still be fair and the agreement wouldn’t leave her with nothing. I expected an adult conversation.

Instead she immediately got defensive. She said things like So you’re already planning for a divorce? and I thought we trusted each other. I tried to explain it wasn’t about trust it was about transparency and mutual protection. But she shut it down completely. That’s when red flags started popping up. She became evasive every time money came up and I started noticing weird things credit card offers in the mail, a few missed payments on shared expenses she said she'd cover, and lots of I'll handle it later energy.
 

So, I asked directly if she had debt. She admitted it. $92,000 in credit card debt. Not student loans. Not a mortgage. Credit cards. She said it accumulated over the years from unexpected expenses and a few dumb splurges but she never told me about any of it until I forced the issue. I was stunned. We’re about to merge lives. This woman was about to legally become my spouse and she didn’t think I deserved to know she was six figures in the red?

I told her this made the prenup non-negotiable for me. I need to protect myself not just emotionally, but financially. I told her I was willing to still move forward but not without something in writing that protects my premarital assets. She lost it. Called me selfish. Said I was turning love into a business deal.