I've been following a specific Twitter account, who says that much of the Bible has been papered over or quietly censored. The actual tome should be several times longer than what you are handed today (to say nothing of abominations like the Scofield Bible).
The passages you / your pastor read on Sunday does not reflect the true totality of messages from 'da Lawd.
Basically you need to assume that "they" already corrupted Christianity long ago, and that any meaningful reconciliation with the "word of Christ" involves having to look outside your usual resources.
For example, your pastor or afterschool teacher (Back when you were 8 years old) has likely mentioned that suicide is an extreme sin. While suicide is not something to be celebrated or encouraged, what actually happens (according to someone who is "more in tune" with Christian theology than most modern churches / doctrinists) is that the soul ends up wandering for a period of time.
It is not an automatic one way ticket to Dante's Inferno...ya dig?
[You're welcome in advance]