Liberal Forum

The ‘kid’ who ‘wrote’ the ‘letter’ to Trump is lying about his age.



On Wednesday, the White House decided that the best way to distract the public’s outrage over the president’s supposed reinstating of the U.S. military ban on transgender people was with the sweet story of a POTUS-loving nine-year-old boy nicknamed “Pickle.”

Yes, instead of answering the very real questions on the president’s out-of-nowhere resolve to strip the transgender community of their civil liberties, perpetually miserable Sarah Huckabee Sanders used her time at the podium to read a letter from a totally real kid named “Dylan Harbin” who somehow convinced his very real “parents” to throw him a MAGA-themed birthday party, complete with MAGA hat-shaped cake.

Dylan had so many “questions” for the “president,” like “How much monny do you have?”



Funny that a kid who can’t spell for **** knows what a hyphen is or where to use it.

(Which probably rules Trump out as the missive’s true author.)

Or that a letter that was mailed to the president and took nearly two months to reach him is neither folded nor covered in coffee stains or self-tanner.

Or that the kid happens to share a name with Mike Pence’s beloved cat.

And where is the “pitcher” that Dylan enclosed?

Surely if there was a child on this planet who had any sort of affinity for the president, he’d pilot Air Force One himself to show up on the kid’s doorstep for a photo op.

Or at least threaten Pickle’s parents if they didn’t produce some party photos.

So where are the birthday pics? The public has a right to see them!

Fortunately, we’re not the only ones buying into the Great Pickle Mystery.

The conspiracy has gone global.

London-based political reporter Mikey Smith also did some digging, and can’t find a record of any Dylan Harbin being born anywhere in the United States between 2007 and 2009.

There is no record in the index of US newspaper birth announcements for a Dylan Harbin between 2007 and 2009.

— Mikey Smith (@mikeysmith) July 27, 2017

Is little Pickle lying about his age?

Was he born on foreign soil?

Is he actually a 53-year-old former investment manager from Long Island who uses too much hair product and looks like he reeks of Drakkar Noir?

Like Donald Trump’s tax returns, we may never know the truth.