12 Feb 2023 11:45 pm
Joe Biden > Howling Asshats, and Other Observations - Friday, February 10th, 2023 - showercapblog (dot com)
excerpts part two
Anyway, if I’m understanding things correctly, the self-evident truth that Donald Trump is a ****** *** bitch is now officially enshrined in the Constitution, or someplace almost as good, anyway. Heckuva job, Jimbo. Congrats, you’re a poor man’s Trey Gowdy, which is about six rungs above incel.
The State of the Union put me in mind of my all-time favorite evening spent watching politics: the 2012 vice presidential debate. There’s something about watching Joe Biden play with his food that works for me.
It was like a nature show, only better; you were absolved of any feelings of sympathy for the wildebeests, because you knew from previous episodes that the wildebeests were assholes. The look on Joe’s face, when he saw how easy it had been to bait these dopes into a Social Security fight, I’ve never seen that look in real life, only on the faces of 8-year-old boys in black and white movies, when they race downstairs on Xmas morning to discover a bicycle-shaped package next the tree.
Jowls trembling with theatrical fury, they bellowed, “How dare you, sir? How darrrrrrrrre you accuse the Republican Party of seeking cuts to entitlements?” and Joe’s grin grew wider, visions of news cycles to come dancing in his eyes like sugarplum fairies.
Because while yes, most of you understand the actual policy goals of your party’s donor class are too politically suicidal to speak aloud, some of you can’t help yourselves, and many of you are just idiots, so there’s no shortage of documentation here.
And if you don’t believe me, turn on the news, because it’s what we’re talking about now, thanks to your little ****.
I think they really believe that if they don’t show it on Fox, nobody can see it. Like, Mike Lee knows about that footage of him talking about phasing out social security, this isn’t the first time it’s made the rounds. He just got swept up in the hootin’ and hollerin’ (which has, um, happened before) and forgot about it, and how perfectly it would pair with his How Dare You face.
“Oh, that was taken out of context!” Okay, Mike. I bet that works. On people who take horse dewormer.
Rick Scott, bless his Medicare-defrauding heart, insisted on defending the honor of his stupid, stupid idea to sunset every single federal law every five years, which went about as well as you’d think, given Rick’s limited intellect and general ghoulishness. I wonder what Joe Biden’s gonna do with his other two wishes.
I’d like to take a quick moment to express my profound gratitude as a Democrat to the Republicans mentioned above, for their generous contributions to our cause.
Please understand how deeply we appreciate your commitment to reminding the public what colossal **** you all are. Incidentally, if anything happens to Rick Scott, Mitch McConnell clearly did it.
excerpts part two
Anyway, if I’m understanding things correctly, the self-evident truth that Donald Trump is a ****** *** bitch is now officially enshrined in the Constitution, or someplace almost as good, anyway. Heckuva job, Jimbo. Congrats, you’re a poor man’s Trey Gowdy, which is about six rungs above incel.
The State of the Union put me in mind of my all-time favorite evening spent watching politics: the 2012 vice presidential debate. There’s something about watching Joe Biden play with his food that works for me.
It was like a nature show, only better; you were absolved of any feelings of sympathy for the wildebeests, because you knew from previous episodes that the wildebeests were assholes. The look on Joe’s face, when he saw how easy it had been to bait these dopes into a Social Security fight, I’ve never seen that look in real life, only on the faces of 8-year-old boys in black and white movies, when they race downstairs on Xmas morning to discover a bicycle-shaped package next the tree.
Jowls trembling with theatrical fury, they bellowed, “How dare you, sir? How darrrrrrrrre you accuse the Republican Party of seeking cuts to entitlements?” and Joe’s grin grew wider, visions of news cycles to come dancing in his eyes like sugarplum fairies.
Because while yes, most of you understand the actual policy goals of your party’s donor class are too politically suicidal to speak aloud, some of you can’t help yourselves, and many of you are just idiots, so there’s no shortage of documentation here.
And if you don’t believe me, turn on the news, because it’s what we’re talking about now, thanks to your little ****.
I think they really believe that if they don’t show it on Fox, nobody can see it. Like, Mike Lee knows about that footage of him talking about phasing out social security, this isn’t the first time it’s made the rounds. He just got swept up in the hootin’ and hollerin’ (which has, um, happened before) and forgot about it, and how perfectly it would pair with his How Dare You face.
“Oh, that was taken out of context!” Okay, Mike. I bet that works. On people who take horse dewormer.
Rick Scott, bless his Medicare-defrauding heart, insisted on defending the honor of his stupid, stupid idea to sunset every single federal law every five years, which went about as well as you’d think, given Rick’s limited intellect and general ghoulishness. I wonder what Joe Biden’s gonna do with his other two wishes.
I’d like to take a quick moment to express my profound gratitude as a Democrat to the Republicans mentioned above, for their generous contributions to our cause.
Please understand how deeply we appreciate your commitment to reminding the public what colossal **** you all are. Incidentally, if anything happens to Rick Scott, Mitch McConnell clearly did it.