Liberal Forum

Alex Jones Knows ‘Deep State’ Roofies Trump’s Diet Cokes, But SHHHH THEY’LL MURDER HIM IF YOU TELL

WELL, WELL, WELL. Alex Jones, investigator and figure-outer of all the secret truths that exist, has done it again.

He has “spoken” to his “sources” and they have told him that every single night, the Deep State sneaks into the Oval Office (yes, the entire Deep State, single file) and puts a roofie in Donald Trump’s Diet Coke and one in his iced tea and one in his burnt steak and one in each scoop of his ice cream.

Hell, General John Kelly probably hollers, “Who’s a good boy! Who’s a good boy!” from his office, which makes Trump gallop on all fours toward the voice of the nice chief of staff who says he’s a good boy, at which point he sits and shakes and rolls over and plays dead, earning his reward of as many spoonfuls of peanut butter as he wants, all of which are FULL OF DRUGS.

This is a thing that happens. ALEX JONES KNOWS.
THE HIGHEST.
THEY DID IT.

Who is “they”?

THE **** DEEP STATE, DO YOU NOT SEE THEM HIDING BEHIND THE CURTAINS?

They are very sneaky.
Oh it’s not just “most of them,” it’s ALL OF THEM KATIE.

George W. Bush choking on that pretzel?

BECAUSE IT WAS LACED WITH THE KIND OF DRUGS YOU’RE ‘POSED TO SAY NO TO.

Obama being all crazy boners for broccoli and arugula?

HE WASN’T PANDERING TO MICHELLE’S LADY GARDEN, IT WAS BECAUSE THEY WERE COVERED IN VERY ADDICTIVE DRUGS THAT ARE NOTHING LIKE ALEX JONES TRUCKER SPEED.
BUT ONCE HE FIGURES IT OUT, OH BOY.
We do remember that time Trump took phone **** all over the Australian prime minister because it was 5:00 PM ZZZZZZZZ PRESIDENTING MAKES HIM VERY SLEEPY.

But maybe it was the drugs!
Maybe he’s just senile. Or maybe that’s what THEY want us to think:
WHOA. THE ****. IF TRUE.

And now the dose is in everything Trump touches or tastes.

It’s upon Steve Bannon’s bosoms (allegedly!), it’s on the tip of the Russian ambassador’s dick (allegedly!).

There is literally no place the Deep State won’t hide Trump’s mind-control drugs. (NOT ALLEGEDLY.)

Alex Jones knows sharing this information is dangerous:
He better don his invisibility robe and wizard hat, then!

Otherwise the Deep State will probably assassinate Jones a bunch of times, just like they’ve done to Roger Stone.

And you might think, well, how can the Deep State drug Trump and murder Roger Stone and Alex Jones all at the same time?

The answer is shapeshifting, and also something about gay frogs.

OPEN YOUR EYES, YOU IDIOTS.
Awwwww, that sucks. Doktor Zoom is sick today too. HOPE HE’S NOT GETTING DEEP STATED.
Well …
Let it go! Let it go! Iiiiiiiii don’t care what they’re going to say, let the storm rage onnnnnnnnnnnn!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
The cold never bothered Alex Jones anyway.
Well there’s always this guy:



That’s the ticket.

But wait, what if Dr. Weirdass up there runs the tests and just finds usual stuff like Adderall, Imodium AD, Heartgard and whatever they use to treat syphilis acquired in the late 1970s?

THEN THAT MEANS THE DEEP STATE IS MAKING ITS DRUGS UNTRACEABLE, OBVIOUSLY, YOU SHEEPLE.

Oh well. Even if they ferret out whatever Trump is almost certainly being drugged with, the Deep State always has Plan B, i.e. that one weird chemtrail that comes out of Air Force One’s fanny and goes directly up the president’s nose.

Read more at https://wonkette.com/622780/alex-jones- ... s9ZyVvm.99