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A Giggles Thread: Jokes, Cartoons, Parody, Satire, Sarcasm & Irony
29 Aug 2019 9:46 pm
A chestnut from the Obama years...
Obama went into a bank to cash a check to buy a Valentine's gift for Michelle. The cashier demanded I.D., and he had none. He pointed out that his face is famous and his bodyguard detail proved his authenticity. "Sorry, sir, but Homeland Security is all up our ***, and we really need more than surface appearance to cash a check if you have no ID. I cannot help you - unless you can do what Tiger Woods and Jack Nicholson did, in your place."
"And what is that." Obama asked.
"Well, when Tiger forgot HIS ID, he made a putt from one end of the lobby to the other, and sank the ball into a coffee cup. And Nicholson ran his "Heeeeere's JOHNNY" line from The Shining. There ws no doubt of either man's identity after such signature moments as those.
"I see," said Obama, "That makes perfect sense. But I'm at a complete loss for what to do. For the life of me, I can''t think of anything to do that would prove anything or make the slightest difference."
The cashier responded, "What denominations do you prefer, Mr. President?"
Obama went into a bank to cash a check to buy a Valentine's gift for Michelle. The cashier demanded I.D., and he had none. He pointed out that his face is famous and his bodyguard detail proved his authenticity. "Sorry, sir, but Homeland Security is all up our ***, and we really need more than surface appearance to cash a check if you have no ID. I cannot help you - unless you can do what Tiger Woods and Jack Nicholson did, in your place."
"And what is that." Obama asked.
"Well, when Tiger forgot HIS ID, he made a putt from one end of the lobby to the other, and sank the ball into a coffee cup. And Nicholson ran his "Heeeeere's JOHNNY" line from The Shining. There ws no doubt of either man's identity after such signature moments as those.
"I see," said Obama, "That makes perfect sense. But I'm at a complete loss for what to do. For the life of me, I can''t think of anything to do that would prove anything or make the slightest difference."
The cashier responded, "What denominations do you prefer, Mr. President?"
When you complain, ur friends roll their eyes and ur enemies rejoice
"Because I SAY I am" is a todler's tantrum, not "science"
You cannot betray me - only yourself, to me.
Who cuts off your dick is not a friend
An opinion you won't defend is not your own
Humanity's Law of the Jungle: Survival NOT of the fittest, but of the tribe
When peeing in the pool, stand on the edge
If gender is not sex, why should a gender claim change what sex you shower with?
"Because I SAY I am" is a todler's tantrum, not "science"
You cannot betray me - only yourself, to me.
Who cuts off your dick is not a friend
An opinion you won't defend is not your own
Humanity's Law of the Jungle: Survival NOT of the fittest, but of the tribe
When peeing in the pool, stand on the edge
If gender is not sex, why should a gender claim change what sex you shower with?