I was thinking more of having a vicious small dog pull him intestines out thru his *** over a three day period
Or have a guillotine blade set at 300 feet high...right above home plate at Yankee **** Stadium.
Then ask the Bean Dip to answer 20 questions that would show up on a US citizenship exam.
For each wrong answer the blade drops 50 feet and for every correct answer the blade stays put.