Liberal Forum

Here is the average conversation with a lefty about Trump's tariffs:

Me: So tell me what troubles you about these tariffs.
Lefty: Because it's Trump/Musk
Me: Oh...okay. Umm....what is it exactly about Trump's tariffs that has an adverse effect on our economy?
Lefty: Because Orange Man bad....Nod. 

Clear the stage, 2026 Nobel Prize in Economics—this visionary just solved global trade. ^^^

Ok, well since the average lefty can't help me out, let's look into some other options of what we can slap tariffs on. 

Hear me out. If Trump wants to bring tariffs back, then let’s at least get creative with it. Here are a few humble suggestions. 

 1. Tariff TikToks
 Tax every TikTok dance uploaded from China. That’ll bring in billions and stop the flossing epidemic in U.S. middle schools. No seriously. It's bad enough that we have Ivy Leagues producing morons like @Blackvegetable  

 2. Emotional Support Tariff
Any country that posts a “We’re concerned about U.S. democracy” or "Trump is a threat to democracy" statement gets charged an emotional damage tariff. We’re fragile. Pay up.

3. Tesla Repatriation Tariff
Musk builds a factory on Mars before he builds one in Michigan.  That’s a $3 billion tariff. Sorry, Elon. Build Back Earth. EVs are stupid enough. However, if this country is going to worship these useless cars, then at least keep the jobs here. Stop scouting out China. 

 4.  Tariff on Ideas Too Clever to Come from Congress
Any country that actually comes up with a good idea first—like universal healthcare or working trains—pays for making us look bad. That’s interference in our exceptionalism.

 Bottom line: If we’re gonna tariff our way into the future, let’s at least do it with some flair.