Liberal Forum

I have an operative practice in this life: I am nice to the help. Wherever I go - groceries, department stores, bureaucracies, hotels, what have you, - I am always nice to the help. I never blame the flunky for the dick in my *** their boss is giving me. And I almost always get excellent and helpful service. 

Today I did a favor for a sick friend, and returned his modem for a switch-out with a company I will refer to as Spuvium. I stood in an informal que for more than an hour, having signed in under my friend's name. When at last they called his name, I went up and explained the day's intent. He asks for ID and I say, Oh, I'm not the guy - I'm doing a favor for a sick friend. You don't want that guy here - he's hacking. So he explains that he can't do binnis with me if I'm not on the account. But the WAY he explained it just sat wrong. Even wronger for the hour and fideen minute wait. 

So I snapped at him - "look, you talk to this guy. I'm just doing a favor for a sick friend." And I immediately got my boy on the phone. So they yak about 30 seconds and cletis makes it plain he ain't feeling helpful. So my buddy kind of tells him to **** off - not in those words, but in so many words. He gets a little huffy, and I don't even know WHAT I said to him, but it made him respond, "Well I'm definitely not helping you now that you talked to me that way." 

The hypocrisy of a *** who was COMMITTED to not helping acting like whatever I said in response to his gayness was the reason for his gayness was just more than I was in a mood to tolerate. So in a voice that kind of said, "Just **** off, you ***," I uttered the words, "Fuuuck off, *** - just fuuuuck off, you **** ***." Then I spat on the floor and left the store chuckling. What made me chuckle was the combination of my surprise at myself - I usually comport in a most civilized mien, - ad the butt hurt look he got on his ugly mug. Reminded me of the slapped look Tom Snyder used to always have across his mug. 

I get outside and my boy calls me back. "Hey, hang around - Ima get you on the account." Five minutes later I'm back in the **** hole store, and this time I only had a 5 minute wait because I had put his name in a SECOND time after waiting my first hour. So I get a black chick who is expecting trouble, because everyone in the joint and all three clowners had already caught my show. She asks warily, "Are you on the account," knowing the answer to be no. I say yup and produce my license, and she looks confused as HELL. Then she gets this **** it look and helps me - has me out of there in 3 minutes. Bwahaha.

Cussed, spat, didn't get the cops called, completed my mission in spite of myself, and cucked a *** in the real world.           

Cannonpointer » 04 Jan 2022, 4:17 pm » wrote: ↑

04 Jan 2022, 4:17 pm

And NOW, you mother **** and you other ****, Ima cook some aloo gobi, which no one else on this board is competent to cook. And then I get to eat it.