Liberal Forum

 City Of Chicago Sues Murder Victims For Not Getting Out Of The Way Of Bullets

U.S.·Sep 1, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
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CHICAGO, IL — Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced this week that Chicago is bringing a lawsuit against the estates of thousands of murder victims for failing to step out of the way of bullets when they were shot at.


"There is a crime wave being fed by too many sluggish shooting victims," said Johnson to a roomful of gang members disguised as journalists. "How hard is it to take a couple of steps to the right, or maybe duck once in a while? The gross negligence of Chicago's murder victims is out of control and we will hold them accountable."

The lawsuit comes as part of a multi-pronged effort to fight crime in the city, which will also include suing convenience store owners for having so many tempting treats to steal, suing car manufacturers for making cars that can be broken into, and suing babies for being too easy to kidnap.

"We will do everything in our power to protect our citizens short of holding criminals accountable for their actions," said Johnson. "And next time someone shoots at you, do the right thing and get out of the way."

"Or we are coming for you."

At publishing time, Chicago had announced they would be suing all the residents of the city for having the bad judgment to live in such a dangerous place.
 

THREE WORDS    DUMB **** ***

     

Buffalo » 02 Sep 2023, 12:01 pm » wrote: ↑

02 Sep 2023, 12:01 pm

 City Of Chicago Sues Murder Victims For Not Getting Out Of The Way Of Bullets

U.S.·Sep 1, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads. 

CHICAGO, IL — Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced this week that Chicago is bringing a lawsuit against the estates of thousands of murder victims for failing to step out of the way of bullets when they were shot at.

"There is a crime wave being fed by too many sluggish shooting victims," said Johnson to a roomful of gang members disguised as journalists. "How hard is it to take a couple of steps to the right, or maybe duck once in a while? The gross negligence of Chicago's murder victims is out of control and we will hold them accountable."

The lawsuit comes as part of a multi-pronged effort to fight crime in the city, which will also include suing convenience store owners for having so many tempting treats to steal, suing car manufacturers for making cars that can be broken into, and suing babies for being too easy to kidnap.

"We will do everything in our power to protect our citizens short of holding criminals accountable for their actions," said Johnson. "And next time someone shoots at you, do the right thing and get out of the way."

"Or we are coming for you."

At publishing time, Chicago had announced they would be suing all the residents of the city for having the bad judgment to live in such a dangerous place.

Babylon Bee today 

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Hurricane Idalia making landfall in Florida, President Joe Biden offered suffering victims in the Sunshine State comfort by telling them about the time he was in the bathroom and the urinal splashed back on him a little bit.

 "I've been in the same situation, folks," Biden said as he made remarks to the media regarding ongoing disaster relief efforts in Hawaii and Florida. "These hurricanes and storms flooding everything remind me of my own challenges. There was this one time, at a state dinner with the Pope, and I had to go see a man about a mule, so I go to the ladies' room, but they kick me out, so I go to the men's room, and I'm doing my thing there at the…at the…at the…the urinal…and it…and it…splashed back on me a little bit. My own urine. Can you believe that? Awful day. Anyway…"—-

Ha ha. 

 
 

righteous » 02 Sep 2023, 7:33 pm » wrote: ↑

02 Sep 2023, 7:33 pm

THREE WORDS    DUMB **** ***

The Babylon Bee is a conservative Christiannews satire website that publishes satiricalarticles on topics including religion, politics, current events, and public figures. It has been referred to as a Christian or conservative version of The Onion.[1][2][3]As the readership of The Babylon Beeincreased from 2016 to 2020, there were independent, ongoing discussions within journalistic circles on how to handle the rise of fake news and its influence on the public.[35][36][37] The Babylon Bee was brought into this wider conversation when several of their articles were shared on social media or reported upon, ostensibly as factual, including President Donald Trump commenting on a story that claimed "Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News"[35][38] and British newspaper The Guardian reprinting as factual a Bee-doctored image of LeBron Jameswearing a lace collar supposedly in tribute to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.[39]

The Conversation published research by academics at the Ohio State University in August 2019 that found that people regularly mistook satirical reports from The Babylon Bee, The Colbert Report, The Onion, and others for genuine news. They found that "stories published by the Bee were among the most shared factually inaccurate content in almost every survey we conducted". They also found that both Republicans and Democrats mistook articles from The Babylon Bee as news, but Republicans were considerably more likely to do so.[40
 

Bruce » 02 Sep 2023, 8:44 pm » wrote: ↑

02 Sep 2023, 8:44 pm

The Babylon Bee is a conservative Christiannews satire website that publishes satiricalarticles on topics including religion, politics, current events, and public figures. It has been referred to as a Christian or conservative version of The Onion.[1][2][3]As the readership of The Babylon Beeincreased from 2016 to 2020, there were independent, ongoing discussions within journalistic circles on how to handle the rise of fake news and its influence on the public.[35][36][37] The Babylon Bee was brought into this wider conversation when several of their articles were shared on social media or reported upon, ostensibly as factual, including President Donald Trump commenting on a story that claimed "Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News"[35][38] and British newspaper The Guardian reprinting as factual a Bee-doctored image of LeBron Jameswearing a lace collar supposedly in tribute to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.[39]

The Conversation published research by academics at the Ohio State University in August 2019 that found that people regularly mistook satirical reports from The Babylon Bee, The Colbert Report, The Onion, and others for genuine news. They found that "stories published by the Bee were among the most shared factually inaccurate content in almost every survey we conducted". They also found that both Republicans and Democrats mistook articles from The Babylon Bee as news, but Republicans were considerably more likely to do so.[40

It is just **** satire, asshole!!!
 

Buffalo » 02 Sep 2023, 12:01 pm » wrote: ↑

02 Sep 2023, 12:01 pm

 City Of Chicago Sues Murder Victims For Not Getting Out Of The Way Of Bullets

U.S.·Sep 1, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads. 

CHICAGO, IL — Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced this week that Chicago is bringing a lawsuit against the estates of thousands of murder victims for failing to step out of the way of bullets when they were shot at.

"There is a crime wave being fed by too many sluggish shooting victims," said Johnson to a roomful of gang members disguised as journalists. "How hard is it to take a couple of steps to the right, or maybe duck once in a while? The gross negligence of Chicago's murder victims is out of control and we will hold them accountable."

The lawsuit comes as part of a multi-pronged effort to fight crime in the city, which will also include suing convenience store owners for having so many tempting treats to steal, suing car manufacturers for making cars that can be broken into, and suing babies for being too easy to kidnap.

"We will do everything in our power to protect our citizens short of holding criminals accountable for their actions," said Johnson. "And next time someone shoots at you, do the right thing and get out of the way."

"Or we are coming for you."

At publishing time, Chicago had announced they would be suing all the residents of the city for having the bad judgment to live in such a dangerous place.

Babylonbee been hitting them out the park lately.

Bruce » 02 Sep 2023, 8:44 pm » wrote: ↑

02 Sep 2023, 8:44 pm

The Babylon Bee is a conservative Christiannews satire website that publishes satiricalarticles on topics including religion, politics, current events, and public figures. It has been referred to as a Christian or conservative version of The Onion.[1][2][3]As the readership of The Babylon Beeincreased from 2016 to 2020, there were independent, ongoing discussions within journalistic circles on how to handle the rise of fake news and its influence on the public.[35][36][37] The Babylon Bee was brought into this wider conversation when several of their articles were shared on social media or reported upon, ostensibly as factual, including President Donald Trump commenting on a story that claimed "Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News"[35][38] and British newspaper The Guardian reprinting as factual a Bee-doctored image of LeBron Jameswearing a lace collar supposedly in tribute to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.[39]

The Conversation published research by academics at the Ohio State University in August 2019 that found that people regularly mistook satirical reports from The Babylon Bee, The Colbert Report, The Onion, and others for genuine news. They found that "stories published by the Bee were among the most shared factually inaccurate content in almost every survey we conducted". They also found that both Republicans and Democrats mistook articles from The Babylon Bee as news, but Republicans were considerably more likely to do so.[40

Who the **** brought this billboard for abortions here?

Str8tEdge » 03 Sep 2023, 12:28 am » wrote: ↑

03 Sep 2023, 12:28 am

Who the **** brought this billboard for abortions here?

You haven't been around for a while so you missed Bruce.. no one knows where that special retard came from, opinions are divided but I think it's an AI, without the 'I'.. as the song goes.. you ain't seen nothing yet... lol.. ask him about his mother..

 


 


 

Jantje_Smit » 03 Sep 2023, 3:38 am » wrote: ↑

03 Sep 2023, 3:38 am

You haven't been around for a while so you missed Bruce.. no one knows where that special retard came from, opinions are divided but I think it's an AI, without the 'I'.. as the song goes.. you ain't seen nothing yet... lol.. ask him about his mother..

 

     

Str8tEdge » 03 Sep 2023, 12:28 am » wrote: ↑

03 Sep 2023, 12:28 am

Who the **** brought this billboard for abortions here?

babs...aka @Bruce  aka captard deflecto aka **** flinger....


 
 

Jantje_Smit » 03 Sep 2023, 3:38 am » wrote: ↑

03 Sep 2023, 3:38 am

You haven't been around for a while so you missed Bruce.. no one knows where that special retard came from, opinions are divided but I think it's an AI, without the 'I'.. as the song goes.. you ain't seen nothing yet... lol.. ask him about his mama..

 

FIFY