Liberal Forum

The Festivus Report 2023

Happy Festivus!

How is 2023 already coming to a close? What a year it’s been. Twitter is now X, what we thought were UFOs were actually Chinese Spy Balloons, Barbie battled Oppenheimer at the box office, and a missing F-35 jet flew for over 60 miles without a pilot. It’s safe to say that some big changes have occurred since last year’s Festivus Report.

Last Festivus, we lamented over the national debt reaching an astronomical $30 trillion. Shockingly, in one short year, the career politicians and bureaucrats in Washington have managed to approach $34 trillion in debt, without so much as a second thought.

Who’s to blame for our crushing level of debt? Everybody. This year, members of both parties in Congress voted to raise the debt ceiling, which empowered the government to borrow an unlimited amount of money until 2024. As Congress spends to reward its favored industries and pet projects, the American taxpayers are forced to pay the price through record high inflation and crippling interest rates.

The same big spenders teamed up, yet again, to continue sending Americans’ hard-earned money to foreign countries and funding endless wars, all while ignoring our porous southern border.

And our mountain of debt will continue to pile ever higher. The Congressional Budget Office predicts we will add an average of $2 trillion in debt annually for the next decade. The U.S. government will add over $5 billion of debt every single day for the next ten years. We borrow over $200 million every hour, we borrow $3 million every minute, and we borrow $60,000 every second.

This year, I am highlighting a whopping ~$900,000,000,000 of waste, including an NIH grant to study Russian cats walking on a treadmill, Barbies used as proof of ID for receiving COVID Paycheck Protection Program funds, $6 million to promote tourism in Egypt, and $200 million to ‘struggling artists’ like Post Malone, Chris Brown, and Lil Wayne. No matter how much money the government has already wasted, politicians keep demanding even more.

As always, taking the path to fiscal responsibility is often a lonely journey, but, as I’ve done in years past, I will continue my fight against government waste this holiday season.

So, before we get to the Feats of Strength, it’s time for my Airing of (spending) Grievances!

I have a lot of problems with federal spending, and now it’s time to hear all about them! 2
                                                              The Waste of 2023
 Barbie Doll Photo Used to Get COVID PPP Funds…………………….portion of $800,000,000,000

 In the RED: Interest on Our National Debt is Expensive ……………..………...….$659,000,000,000

 Dr. Fauci’s Monkey Business on NIH’s “Monkey Island”……………………..………..….$33,200,000

 USAID Fund to Boost Egyptian Tourism...........................................................................$6,000,000

 USDA’s Cutting-Edge Research: Walking Dogs in the Summer……………...…...………..Unknown

 DHS Training Employees to Be Their “Authentic & Best Selves”……………..…...………..Unknown

 Russian Cats-On-A-Treadmill Studies Funded by NIH……...………........…..portion of $2,700,000

 The Government Pays Dead People … Again!.....………………………………………...$38,000,000

 DOD’s Lobster Tank………………………………………………………………………………….$8,395

 How to Ruin Expensive Military Equipment Part 1: Engines………………………...……$89,000,000

 How to Ruin Expensive Military Equipment Part 2: Transmissions……………………....$12,600,000

 How to Ruin Expensive Military Equipment Part 3: Tank Treads………...……………....$68,000,000

 “Real Fake”: DHS’s 1st Graphic Novel About Disinformation………………………………...Unknown

 DHS’s 2 nd Graphic Novel: COVID Disinformation…………..………………………………...Unknown

 
 

 NIH’s Meth-Head Monkeys………………………………………………………portion of $12,000,000

 Treasury’s Pot of Cash for Political Campaigns……………………………….……….…$400,000,000

 NIH’s Monkey Casino: Gambling for Drinking Water………………….…….....portion of $3,700,000

 SBA’s Ticket to Backstage………………………………………………….……………….$200,000,000

 Studying COVID-19 “Misinformation” On Social Media In Black & Rural Communities…$3,800,000

 Dr. Fauci’s Transgender Monkey Study………………………………………………………...$477,121

 Whoopsie: Improper Federal Payments………………………………………………$236,000,000,000

 FLASHBACK: The Government Likes Its Gambling Monkeys…………………………….…$171,000

Taxpayer Dollars Wasted: ~$900 Billion

Full report:

Festivus-2023.pdf (senate.gov)
 
 

Airing of the grievances

When deployed on an aircraft carrier during wartime, the Navy would always feed us steak and lobster tails for Christmas. I always wondered whether Army and Air Force guys where also eating lobster, and if maybe they got the claws, because we never saw those.