10 Tips For Illegals To Avoid ICE

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By Buffalo
29 Jan 2025 10:56 am in No Holds Barred Political Forum
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Buffalo
29 Jan 2025 10:56 am
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10 Tips For Illegals To Avoid ICE
U.S.·Jan 28, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
ImageWith reports rolling in of widespread panic among the illegal immigrant population of the United States, foreign-born people across the country are looking for ways to avoid being apprehended and deported.The Babylon Bee is here to provide assistance by listing the following helpful tips for illegals wanting to avoid ICE:
  1. Go back home: Simple, but effective.
  2. Obey immigration laws: Studies show the best way to avoid being charged with a crime is to not do anything to break the law.
  3. Take off your sombrero: You'll be less identifiable and blend in with every other Juan, Ricardo, and Geraldo.
  4. Resist the urge to lead an armed gang to forcibly take over an apartment complex: It may be difficult to resist this urge, but your willpower will pay off.
  5. Don't rape anyone: This activity may draw too much attention.
  6. Learn English: Making a convincing case to the governing authorities is much easier when you can actually speak a language they understand.
  7. Cut back to less than one murder per week: ICE is targeting violent criminals first, so go easy on the murderin'.
  8. Get your MS13 face tattoo removed: Laser removal may be pricey, but it will help you be less conspicuous.
  9. Ask Selena Gomez to hide you in one of her mansions: She's got several of them, and she reportedly has a soft spot for illegal aliens.
  10. Find the perfect hiding place, like Venezuela: ICE will never look for you there.
Virtually any of the options mentioned above is a surefire way to evade capture and deportation. You'll escape the clutches of ICE and be back hanging out in the Home Depot parking lot in no time. Have your own suggestions? Drop them in the comments.
 
 
Buck Naked
29 Jan 2025 11:01 am
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lol
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PhiloBeddo
29 Jan 2025 11:01 am
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Agree 100% May I add, don't cross the border illegally.
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Squatchman
29 Jan 2025 12:30 pm
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Wear a MAGA hat.
Then if you do get arrested cry about being a political prisoner.
Or go work on a trump property.
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Skans
29 Jan 2025 12:49 pm
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Buffalo » 29 Jan 2025, 11:56 am » wrote: 10 Tips For Illegals To Avoid ICE
U.S.·Jan 28, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
ImageWith reports rolling in of widespread panic among the illegal immigrant population of the United States, foreign-born people across the country are looking for ways to avoid being apprehended and deported.The Babylon Bee is here to provide assistance by listing the following helpful tips for illegals wanting to avoid ICE:
  1. Go back home: Simple, but effective.
  2. Obey immigration laws: Studies show the best way to avoid being charged with a crime is to not do anything to break the law.
  3. Take off your sombrero: You'll be less identifiable and blend in with every other Juan, Ricardo, and Geraldo.
  4. Resist the urge to lead an armed gang to forcibly take over an apartment complex: It may be difficult to resist this urge, but your willpower will pay off.
  5. Don't rape anyone: This activity may draw too much attention.
  6. Learn English: Making a convincing case to the governing authorities is much easier when you can actually speak a language they understand.
  7. Cut back to less than one murder per week: ICE is targeting violent criminals first, so go easy on the murderin'.
  8. Get your MS13 face tattoo removed: Laser removal may be pricey, but it will help you be less conspicuous.
  9. Ask Selena Gomez to hide you in one of her mansions: She's got several of them, and she reportedly has a soft spot for illegal aliens.
  10. Find the perfect hiding place, like Venezuela: ICE will never look for you there.
Virtually any of the options mentioned above is a surefire way to evade capture and deportation. You'll escape the clutches of ICE and be back hanging out in the Home Depot parking lot in no time. Have your own suggestions? Drop them in the comments.
11.  Jump in front of pick-up trucks with NRA stickers or the Rebel Flag - you know, to WIN THE INSURANCE PRIZE!
12.  Scream "BIDEN FO-EVA" while breaking into Whitie's truck.
13. Suck on the muzzle end of a loaded and chambered M16.
14. Go camping anywhere on my land.
 
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impartialobserver
29 Jan 2025 12:53 pm
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Well.. not all illegals are criminals. They have the same per-capita demographics as everyone else. In my case, its a simple matter of following the law. If they come here legally.. good for them.
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Skans
29 Jan 2025 12:55 pm
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impartialobserver » 29 Jan 2025, 1:53 pm » wrote: Well.. not all illegals are criminals.
 
Wrong.  All illegal aliens are criminals.  They breached our border, remain and work here under fraudulent documentation.  ALL of that constitutes criminal activity.


 
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impartialobserver
29 Jan 2025 12:57 pm
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Skans » 29 Jan 2025, 1:55 pm » wrote: Wrong.  All illegal aliens are criminals.  They breached our border, remain and work here under fraudulent documentation.  ALL of that constitutes criminal activity.

semantics. Not all illegals engage in criminal activities once they cross the border. When I would help family friends in the potato fields of Eastern idaho.. 95% of the workforce was illegal. No raping, murdering, assaults going on there. What has stuck with me since those days is their complete and utter indifference towards American politics. Supposedly they were brought there to get votes and yet not a single one cared even the slightest about any American leader or policy. 
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Skans
29 Jan 2025 1:01 pm
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impartialobserver » 29 Jan 2025, 1:57 pm » wrote: semantics. Not all illegals engage in criminal activities once they cross the border. When I would help family friends in the potato fields of Eastern idaho.. 95% of the workforce was illegal. No raping, murdering, assaults going on there. What has stuck with me since those days is their complete and utter indifference towards American politics. Supposedly they were brought there to get votes and yet not a single one cared even the slightest about any American leader or policy.
Again, not true.  They are violating Social Security laws, driver's license laws, insurance laws and many other laws. Hardly any illegals have licenses or insurance, but they drive vehicles.  They create and use fraudulent documents.  They destroy housing they are permitted to use.  They steal.  And, those are the ones that are not committing violent crimes. 
 
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impartialobserver
29 Jan 2025 1:03 pm
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Skans » 29 Jan 2025, 2:01 pm » wrote: Again, not true.  They are violating Social Security laws, driver's license laws, insurance laws and many other laws. Hardly any illegals have licenses or insurance, but they drive vehicles.  They create and use fraudulent documents.  They destroy housing they are permitted to use.  They steal.  And, those are the ones that are not committing violent crimes.

We are not on the same page. Feel free to carry on. 
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Sumela
29 Jan 2025 1:11 pm
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Become an illegal employee of an Oligarch's Corp....then youll be fine.
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Buffalo
29 Jan 2025 1:39 pm
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impartialobserver » 29 Jan 2025, 1:57 pm » wrote: semantics. Not all illegals engage in criminal activities once they cross the border. When I would help family friends in the potato fields of Eastern idaho.. 95% of the workforce was illegal. No raping, murdering, assaults going on there. What has stuck with me since those days is their complete and utter indifference towards American politics. Supposedly they were brought there to get votes and yet not a single one cared even the slightest about any American leader or policy.
Dim-0-craps once again worried about who will pick their crops
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impartialobserver
29 Jan 2025 6:34 pm
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Buffalo » 29 Jan 2025, 2:39 pm » wrote: Dim-0-craps once again worried about who will pick their crops
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Well either they have to pay non-illegals and pay more for labor, automate it somehow, produce less. Either way, prices are going to rise in the short term. 
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PhiloBeddo
29 Jan 2025 8:31 pm
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If Dems could get away with it, they would use slave labor to pick crops.
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Buffalo
30 Jan 2025 5:49 am
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impartialobserver » 29 Jan 2025, 7:34 pm » wrote: Well either they have to pay non-illegals and pay more for labor, automate it somehow, produce less. Either way, prices are going to rise in the short term.
What about using prison labor.  Let them do ag work and receive good time and reduced sentences.  A win-win for prisoners, taxpayers and farmers.

If it is good enough for illegals it shouldn't be a problem.

 
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Squatchman
30 Jan 2025 6:14 am
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Buffalo » 30 Jan 2025, 6:49 am » wrote: What about using prison labor.  Let them do ag work and receive good time and reduced sentences.  A win-win for prisoners, taxpayers and farmers.

If it is good enough for illegals it shouldn't be a problem.
  Oh right.
A bunch of prisoners turned loose in a field to pick fruits or vegetables.
What could go wrong?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
 
Harper Lee
30 Jan 2025 6:20 am
      
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Squatchman » 30 Jan 2025, 7:14 am » wrote:   Oh right.
A bunch of prisoners turned loose in a field to pick fruits or vegetables.
What could go wrong?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
If Obama deported so many then why didn't America "fall to its knees" like you predicted it will when Trump deports?
 
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Cedar
30 Jan 2025 6:28 am
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impartialobserver » 29 Jan 2025, 1:53 pm » wrote: Well.. not all illegals are criminals.
Illegals by its very definition make the criminals.
 
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Cedar
30 Jan 2025 6:30 am
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Squatchman » 30 Jan 2025, 7:14 am » wrote:   Oh right.
A bunch of prisoners turned loose in a field to pick fruits or vegetables.
What could go wrong?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
It’s a bit racist to think all migrant farm workers are illegal.
 
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Buffalo
30 Jan 2025 6:32 am
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Squatchman » 30 Jan 2025, 7:14 am » wrote:   Oh right.
A bunch of prisoners turned loose in a field to pick fruits or vegetables.
What could go wrong?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Ever heard of guards on horseback with shotguns, bullwhips and dogs?  Damn, what could go wrong, ****? It's been done before, but bleeding heart dim-0-crap loony liberals think it too cruel.  Good enough work for illegals but not prisoners.  Idiot!!!  Would save taxpayers money and benefit farmers.  Why let them set in prison and be a drain on taxpayers while they have access to many comforts?  Stupid!!!
Where I live, I see local jailed criminals picking up trash alongside our highways.  
 
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