Liberal Forum

Lincoln's wife, Mary, was always envious of her husband's intelligence. She couldn't stand how his IQ towered over hers. One day, she was walking alone through the woods and came across a genie in a bottle. The genie appeared and said "I will grant you exactly one wish and one wish only." So Mary, without hesitation, says "I wish that I had the brains of my husband."

Well...she should have been more careful of what she wished for. 
 

What did the left ball say to the right ball? The guy in the middle is a dick.

How do you know you are telling a dad joke?




It becomes apparent...
 

Where's the safest place to hide your money in a negro household...?

Under the soap.

How can you tell you're at an Italian wedding...?

The bride's arm pit hairs are in braids and the groom has shaved a part in his eye brow.

What happens in a negro household when they forget to pay the garbage bill...?

They stop delivering.

When you see 1000s of people walking single file down the street with their hands on top of their heads....what is that...?

The Italians practicing for WW3.

*GHETTOBLASTER » 17 Jul 2025, 11:48 pm » wrote: ↑

17 Jul 2025, 11:48 pm

Where's the safest place to hide your money in a negro household...?

Under the soap.

Ohhhhhh man.     

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an alter boy. 

A man and woman had just finished making love when they heard the door being unlocked.
"My Gawd, it's my husband", whispered the woman, "Go out the window....hurry"

"But we're on the thirteenth floor", said the man.

The woman hissed, "This is no time to be superstitious......JUMP!"

Why do jews have big noses?

Because air is free.

Traveling salesman stops at the farmer's door, explains his car is broke down and he needs a bed for the night.

The farmer says, fine, but you have to share a bedroom with my three lovely, beautiful, prize-winning pigs.

The salesman says, "Did you mean to say daughters," to which the farmer responds, "No, sir; I am a lifelong bachelor. I have no daughters. I mean my three lovely, beautiful, prize-winning pigs."

The traveling salesman responds to the farmer, " I do apologise, sir. I seem to be in the wrong joke."
 

A beautiful blond takes a seat at the bar, and she says to the bartender, "I will have an entendre. Make it a double entendre."

So the bartender gave it to her.

A newly minted priest must walk across town to the nunnery to deliver a message to the mother superior. On his route, he is accosted by a prostitute who offers to give him head for ten dollars. The young priest has no idea what she is talking about; or whether she is requesting money or offering money. All he knows is what he has been told: Be very careful with painted ladies, as they are up to Satan's business. So the priest waves her off.

As he continues his walk, the priest begins to have self doubt. He wonders what the woman wanted - was she seeking help? She said ten dollars for head; was she offering to pay for counseling? He is truly conflicted and feeling guilty by the time he reaches the nunnery.

When he gets to the nunnery, he is shown into a room, and the mother superior comes in, and the young priest delivers his message. The mother superior thanks him, and goes to show him out, whereupon he stops her and asks whether she might entertain a question. She says sure, and he asks her, "What is 'head'?" Without hesitation, the mother superior responds, "Ten dollars, same as downtown."
 

Cannonpointer » 18 Jul 2025, 7:34 pm » wrote: ↑

18 Jul 2025, 7:34 pm

A newly minted priest must walk across town to the nunnery to deliver a message to the mother superior. On his route, he is accosted by a prostitute who offers to give him head for ten dollars. The young priest has no idea what she is talking about; or whether she is requesting money or offering money. Allhe knows is what he has been told: Be very careful with painted ladies, as they are up to Satan's business. So the priest waves her off.

As he continues his walk, the priest begins to have self doubt. He wonders what the woman wanted - was she seeking help? She said ten dollars for head; was she offering to pay for counseling? He is truly conflicted and feeling guilty by the time he reachedsthe nunnery.

When he gets to the nunnery, he is shwon into a room, and the mother superior comes in, and the young priest delivers his message. The mother superior thanks him, and goes to show him out, whereupon he stops her and asks whether should might entertain a question. She says sure, and he asks her, "What is 'head'?" Without hesitation, the mother superior responds, "Ten dollars, same as downtown."

 

A man walks into a barber shop and looks at the barber. He says, “How long until I can get a hair cut?” The barber looks around his shop and then says, “Three hours.” The man says okay, and then leaves. Three hours go by and he doesn’t come back.
A few days later the man is back at the barber shop. He asks, “How long until I can get a hair cut?” The barber looks around and says, “About two and a half hours.” The man nods and then leaves and he doesn’t come back. The man does this for a while.One day he comes in again and asks, “How long until I can get a haircut?” The barber, a bit hesitant, says “About an hour, you can chill here if you want.” The man shakes his head and says, “It’s okay. I’ll be back,” and he leaves.
The barber looks at one of his friends and says, “Follow that guy. I wanna know what he’s doing.” The friend nods and follows the stranger. When the friend gets back he’s laughing. The barber says, “Where did he go?” The friend says, “To your house.”
 

The Dream???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGM43B_kyxk

Democrats. LOL LOL LOL

Superman is flying around over the city enjoying the sites when he notices Wonder Woman laying out nude on the roof of a skyscraper. Superman says "Oh man. I got to get myself some of that." So he circles back around, speeds down faster than a speeding bullet, does his thing in a split second, and then off he goes. Wonder Woman felt a breeze in her hair and asks "what was that?" The invisible man said "I don't know, but my *** is killing me."

Buddy Hackett Elephant Trunk Joke...........https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comment ... runk_joke/